A lot of women change their last name when they get married, but not everyone does.

In today’s story, we hear from a woman who decided not to change her last name.

She didn’t think it was a big deal until her father-in-law made it a big deal.

Now she’s wondering what to do.

Let’s read all the details.

AITA for not taking my FILs last name after getting married?

Hi all. I got married to my husband 1 year ago and I am still wondering if I’m an AH…

Before we got married my husband and I talked and agreed that I could keep my current last name.

If never occurred to me that I should tell anyone of our decision to not change my last name.

At our wedding the pastor announced us as Mr John and Mrs Jane (fake names for anonymity).

No last name was announced.

But I guess I did mention to my new SIL that I was keeping my name…. I’m not sure if she told my in laws intentionally to cause conflict or if she actually didn’t realize I hadn’t told them.

Her father-in-law tried to convince her to change her last name.

Anyways, once we got back from our honeymoon and finished moving into our new house my husbands parents invited us over.

What I thought was going to be a nice first visit as husband and wife quickly turned into a fight.

My FIL said he had to have a serious conversation with me, and he began talking about how great and wonderful his last name is and how people will automatically respect me in his community just because I would have the same name as him.

She has good reasons for wanting to keep her name.

I calmly as I could (I was so upset at this point I could hardly talk) told him my reasons for not wanting to change my name.

1) it’s complicated and expensive to change id’s and such

2) my current last name is unique, I’ve never met another person outside of family with it

3) my home business and degree were established under my current name.

Her in-laws didn’t care about her reasoning.

None of these reasons were good enough for him.

He replied well other DIL changed her name and she has the same degree as you.

And then MIL said it didn’t cost her any money to change her name (but that was 40 yrs ago things change).

I said I don’t feel that I further need to justify my decision to you since you’re not listening or understanding my perspective.

She couldn’t hold back the tears.

Now, FIL says I am insulting him by rejecting his name and all his friends are going to suspect something is wrong and that I am making a mistake and that no one will respect me.

I am full on crying as this point and all I could I do was stand and say I am going home.

As we are walking out FIL stands up and throws his hands up in a surrendering gesture saying I’m just trying to have a conversation.

She’s wondering if she messed up.

I think I could be the AH for 2 reasons here

1) for not publicly announcing my intentions to keep my maiden name and

2) for walking out mid conversation with my new in-laws?

She shouldn’t have to change her name if she doesn’t want to.

Her father-in-law needs to mind his own business.

Let’s see how Reddit responded to this story.

Her father-in-law was the jerk in this story.

Here’s the perspective of a husband whose wife didn’t change her last name.

The father-in-law thinks too highly of himself.

Her husband should’ve stood up for her.

Her father-in-law owes her an apology.

She probably won’t get one, though.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.