Networking For Engineers: A Guide To Surviving Tech Conferences

Tech conferences are filled with opportunities—new connections, great conversations, and fresh ideas. But let’s be honest: networking isn’t easy, especially if you’re an introvert, new to the industry, or just not sure where to start.

As a Community Director, I’ve seen how awkward (and sometimes painful) these interactions can be, even for experienced engineers.

I'm heading to Kubecon + Cloudnative Europe 2025 in London in a few weeks with my team at Multiplayer.app and I wanted to share practical, low-stress tips to meet people, have meaningful conversations, and leave the conference with more than just a pile of swag.

Networking 101: The Basics

Before we dive into conversation starters, here are a few golden rules for making better connections at conferences:

Engage and Listen First

Let people tell their story before jumping in, even when you have something in common (“Oh, I play the guitar too, let me tell you about this new song I've been working on...”).

It's important to be present, not just waiting to speak – It’s obvious when you’re distracted or just thinking about your next line. Not to mention you might miss a very important point they are trying to make and which would lead to a more meaningful conversation (i.e. which your original "next line" might not even have addressed).

Don’t Sell—Just Connect

Most people attending a tech conference do it for work - whether that's finding new clients, expanding their professional network or learning new skills. However, the most meaningful conversations happen when you're genuinely looking to connect on a personal level, rather than just thinking "how can I use this person to my personal advantage”.

Not to mention that, if they’re interested in what you do, they’ll ask. Keep it simple, for example:

“I work at Multiplayer — we build tools for devs working on distributed systems. Right now, we’re focused on auto-documentation and platform debugging using OpenTelemetry, which is why I'm enjoying the talks at Kubecon so much!”

Don’t Center the Conversation Around You (or Them)

Avoid making it all about you, proving your knowledge, or flexing credentials. That doesn't leave many openings for the other person to genuinely progress the conversation.

At the same time, be aware that - contrary to what we often hear - not everyone likes to talk about themselves. So be prepared with follow up questions about mutual interests (the conference, the talks, the tech, etc.).

Skip the Handshakes and Business Cards

Unless someone offers first, skip the handshakes. Also no need to prepare business cards: most connections are digital now anyway (and I have a useful tip later in the article ????).

How to Start Conversations at a Conference

After all these "don't" you might be wondering but how DO I start a conversation.

If you're not sure what to say, these openers make it easy to strike up a conversation naturally—without feeling forced or awkward.

• Before a Talk (Turn to Your Left)

“Hey, I’m [name]. Nice to meet you. It’s always fun hearing what brought people here. What’s your KubeCon story?”

“[follow up] What session did you see today / what session are you heading to next?”

“[follow up] Any after-party events on your list?”

“[follow up] What got you into tech?”

• After a Talk (Turn to Your Right)

“That was a great session. What did you think? Did it align with your experience?”

“That talk made me realize I need to look into [technology/tool]. Have you used it?”

“I’m still wrapping my head around [topic]. Have you worked with it before?”

• In Low-Traffic Areas (Spotted Someone Alone?)

“Hey, looks like we’re both in the same boat waiting here. Is this your first KubeCon, or are you a veteran?”

“[follow up] How did you first get into [topic]?”

“[follow up] What’s your strategy for surviving a conference this big? I feel like I need a game plan.”

“[follow up] Do you know anyone else at this event?”
(yes) “Do you mind making an introduction?”
(no) “Let’s go meet someone together.”

• Standing in Line (Registration, Coffee, etc.)

“Are you waiting for [xyz] too? I always find the hallway track (random convos) just as interesting as the talks. Heard any good discussions today?”

“[follow up] That sounds interesting! Have you worked with that tech before?”

“[follow up] If you had to pick one must-see talk for me, what would it be?”

• If You See Someone Eating Lunch Alone

“Mind if I join you? I’m trying to meet more people in the community.”

“Are you here with a team, or flying solo?”

“[follow up] What made you decide to attend this year?”

“[follow up] What’s been the most valuable thing you’ve gotten from past KubeCons?”

• Joining a Group Sitting Down

“Can I put my drink/bag here?”

“[follow up] Are you all talking about [topic]?”

“[follow up] Do you all know each other, or did you just meet here?”

• Chatting in the Hallway with a Small Group

“Hey, do you mind if I join?”

“Hey, I don’t know many people here yet—mind if I introduce myself?”

• Sitting Alone at the Expo

“So, what’s caught your eye in the expo so far?”

“[follow up] What makes that stand out to you?”

“[follow up] Have you tried implementing something like that in your work?”

“[follow up] Are you looking for a specific solution, or just browsing?”

• Approaching a Speaker

“I loved [topic]—how did you come up with that concept?”

“[follow up] Thanks for taking my question—could you clarify [topic]?”

“[follow up] How long have you been working on that talk?”

• At an After-Party

“Hi, I’m [name]. How’s the conference been for you so far?”

“[follow up] What’s been the highlight of your conference so far?”

“[follow up] What’s a challenge you’re currently trying to solve in your work?”

How to Exit a Conversation Gracefully

Not every conversation will be a great match. If you need to step away, here are some polite ways to do it:

• “Excuse me, I need to grab a refill.”
• “I need to step out for some air before my next talk.”
• “I have to check in with a colleague—nice meeting you!”

If it's a great conversation, and you want leave it on a positive note and stay connected:

• “I really enjoyed our conversation—let’s keep in touch on LinkedIn.”
• “I’d love to continue our discussion on [topic]. Want to schedule a follow-up chat?”
• “Before I head off to my next talk, would you like a sassy sticker I designed?”

LinkedIn tip!

To make connecting on LinkedIn super quick, I like to add my LinkedIn QR code on my wallpaper.

And if you plan to also schedule follow up meetings, you could add a QR code to your calendar link, and add that as your home screen.

Here's an example:

Questions to Avoid

Some questions seem harmless but can put people on the spot. Here’s what to steer clear of:

???? Where are you from? → Not everyone is comfortable sharing.
???? What do you do? → What if they’re unemployed or in a job transition (or simply don't enjoy their job)?
???? Where did you go to school? → What if they’re self-taught and didn't have the opportunity to pursue a degree?
???? Anything political or controversial. → Not the time, not the place.

Final Thoughts: Networking is About Building Relationships

Good networking isn’t about pitching, selling, or handing out business cards—it’s about building real connections.

If you’re attending KubeCon (or any other tech conference), focus on being curious, listening more than you talk, and making others feel comfortable - or come find me, I'd love to have a chat!

And if all else fails—just ask about the best talks, the best tech, or where to get the best coffee.

See you at KubeCon! ????????