Even the most graceful cat can and will do something pretty silly and dogs are rarely graceful in the first place. However, every once in a while, an animal you keep in your house can get up to the sort of shenanigans that most people would find hard to believe.

Someone asked “Pet owners, what is the worst thing your pet has done?” and people shared their examples. Be warned, these range from hilarious to downright dark in some cases. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to add your own thoughts and stories in the comments below.

#1

We have the world's stupidest dachshund.

One time he sneezed next to a kitchen cabinet and hit his head on the door. He barked at the cabinet for hitting him.

Image credits: London_Police

#2

We had this plant that had fake, long, thin leaves on it and my stupid cat would not stop eating the leaves, which resulted in him puking bits back up twice. So I took the plant and put it up in my closet. He was so pissed off about it, followed me the whole way right around my ankles, trying to trip me. he stood at my closet door for twenty minutes meowing, wouldn't let me touch him. So a week later I was running late for work and I left my closet door open without thinking about it. I come home to find the plant dragged into the living room, leaving bits of fake dirt and rocks all over the carpet, cat p**s all over my closet and the stupid plant, and like eight piles of cat vomit with little thin pieces of green leaves in it. Little f****r waited for me to slip up once so he could do it, too.

Image credits: Blair-s

#3

Not worst, but definitely stupidest. My one dog follows me everywhere like Mary's little lamb. One evening I gave the dogs baths and left their jingly collars off while they dried, which put them in stealth mode. Went to set the towels in the laundry room and then shut the door to the room on the way out. Fast forward an hour later, I see one dog walking around and realize that I haven't seen the other one in a while. Search all over the house, last place I look is of course laundry room. My stupid dog was just sitting there. Never occurred to him to bark or anything, he just had this look on his face that said "this is my life now. I live in the laundry room.".

Image credits: RocketGirl83

#4

My dog herded 5 sheep into the ocean. They just disappeared into the sea. Grandpa wasn't happy.

Image credits: anon

#5

The next door neighbour's kid was terrified of dogs. We had a big labrador, and whenever he came near, the kid would cross his arms and freeze. The dog just p*ssed on his leg as he stood there frozen.

Image credits: Coquelins-counselor

#6

My cat would frequently come home with a dead mouse in his mouth. We couldn't figure out where he was getting all these mice til the neighbour came by and told us Mr Chips (the cat) was climbing into the neighbours Python glass enclosure and taking the snakes food (I.e. The mice).

Image credits: WilderApple

#7

My dog bit through some leashes when he was a puppy. One day he got loose on a walk, stole the baseball that was in play at a high school game, and ran victory laps around the diamond with the ball in his mouth until someone caught him.

Image credits: sethspeak

#8

My cat once caught a falcon, but didn't kill him. He dragged the bird into the house and set him free. Great, thanks Carlos for this. I always wanted a nearly unharmed predatory bird in my house to s**t all over my place, while you are just lying there on the couch watching the show how I am trying to get the bird out of the house. Next time, just kill the stuff you hunt, okay!?

Image credits: masterfroo24

#9

Our cat s**t *into* the sound hole of my guitar. Whenever someone bitches about getting a pick out of their guitar, I tell them this story.

Image credits: ThePeoplesBard

#10

Had a sulfur crested cockatoo rescue in the house for a few months. Awesome bird, MASSIVE and so f*****g loud.

Made a shepherds pie, took forever to make and was my pride and joy I was going to live off for the week (it was massive). Left it in the kitchen to cool until I heard excited squawking.

The cockatoo flew into it and was treating it like a bird bath, dunking his head and flapping his wings in the gravy. Then s**t in it.

The pie was a total loss.

Image credits: anon

#11

I was feeding my snake (live mice) and the mice dodged his attacked. He ended up biting himself and tried to eat himself. I had to pry his mouth open with a butter knife to get himself off himself.

Image credits: London_Police

#12

Ate a bunch of used aquarium sand. Cost me about $1700 at 3am at the emergency vet. It hardened in his intestine, if it would've hardened in the small intestine I could be out $3000+. It's cool though he's my bro. If I owned a CD drive I would upload the xrays for delicious karma.

Also one time him and my toddler stepsister ate a bunch of anti-depressants after being unsupervised for about 2.5 minutes. They used to get up to a lot of mishchief together but that was probably the worst. She went to the hospital and he generally seemed to not give a s**t.

Oh yeah and the time he knocked over the trashcan and crawled in it and rolled around and then meticulously spread each piece all over the floor and shredded it. Like 100 times.

Or maybe the about 500 times he has stolen my entire plate of food including whole chickens.

Or maybe the time I went to smoke a cigarette around midnight and came back to find him suffocating inside a bag of tortilla chips, slowly losing consciousness while violently eating the chips. And the PTSD he had from the event for about 6 months where he would act annoying and weird every night at midnight and bark at me and wake everyone up. Every night.

Or maybe the time he bit my finger hard enough to chip the bone.

Or that time he dug a hole through the bathroom door.

Or when he released all the other dogs and relaxed in the front yard while they went swimming in a pond a mile away.

Stupid little f*ckbag is my best friend.

Edit: Yesterday my girlfriend got a package from lush, opened it, and took it in the bathroom to rub it all over her body or whatever the hell girls do with that stuff, leaving the package on the floor. He casually walks over and is like "oh you ordered me some biscuits, thanks" and starts calmly eating the packing peanuts. (luckily lush uses biodegradeable plant-based packaging, I stopped him obviously but he ate 2).

One time I was hella drunk sitting at my computer. I knocked a glass over and it broke. I'm like "man I'm not getting down on the floor drunk and picking up shards of glass and vacuuming, ill just do it tomorrow" and threw a blanket over it. He promptly walks over and curls up on it very comfily, and gives me this "life is pain" look.

Image credits: vaganaldistard

#13

Oh my god.

When my little Tater was just a puppy, he got off of his leash and ran all over the yard. Then he made his way out into the street.

A car was coming.

He didn't get out of the way.

The car went right over him.

I cried so hard.

But thankfully, he was so tiny then that all the car did was literally go above him.

But he's learned his lesson about the streets.

Image credits: chunkopunk

#14

This little s**t has eaten $200+ in phone chargers and ethernet cables in the year I've had him.

I've tried buying him more toys to offset boredom. I've tried rubbing the cords down with apple bitter, apple vinegar, lemon juice, and even hot sauce (the only result is the funny face he makes while chewing). I have tried spraying him with water or distracting by throwing toys/treats across the room. Nothing!
For clarification, I am indeed talking about an a*****e cat.

Image credits: Dishbutt

#15

My cat laid down on my chest and farted silently in my face.

Image credits: meandmycat1

#16

My cat wanted pets at some random time in the middle of the night. After waking up both of us, my wife shoved him off the bed. So he jumped back up and proceeded to teabag her. Literally rubbed his little cat sack across her face.

Image credits: WajorMeasel

#17

Dog took massive dump in my apartment. Then the roomba scheduled to run mid-day did its job. Spread poop f*****g EVERYWHERE!

Technically the dog just pooped in the house and didn't drag that filth around by himself so I decided against punishing him. I did however start a new "no poop in the house" training regiment the next day.

Image credits: mind_left_body

#18

When I was sleeping my cat jumped from the headboard on my bed to my face and proceeded to use my sleeping face as a spring board. Cut up my face good and woke me up in a complete panic.

Image credits: Gritjaw

#19

My cat sh*t on my mother's shoulder while we were driving.

Image credits: NightWalpurgis

#20

I was changing clothes. My cat decided to attack my tampon string.

Image credits: anon

#21

I have a pet betta (fighting fish). He's an adorable grumpy little bastard.

He likes to pluck snails off the side of the tank with his mouth and spit them onto the gravel.

He also chases the ember tetras he lives with but he's much too slow to catch them so most of the time he just flares his fins and grumpily stares at them as they dart away.

Image credits: Solsed

#22

Broke and couldn't get the usual wet food flavour that my cat loves. He ended up peeing in the basket of freshly laundered clothes just before I have an interview the next day. Had to go to self service laundry at 2am at night so I have clothes to wear to the interview the next morning. Fun time :/.

Image credits: choochooviolet

#23

When I was a teenager, I came home late one night and closed my bedroom door behind me without realising that our male cat had followed me in. I woke up to the cat p*ssing all over me. That mattress had to be thrown.

Image credits: anon

#24

In our old apartment the en suite for the master bedroom had a few problems. Mainly being the toilet would slowly fill back up with waste.


This wasn't a huge issue to us as we actually preferred the main bathroom and positioning of the other bedroom so we used the main bedroom as a spare room, and the en suite was only used to house the kitty litter tray.


I also got ready for work in the mornings in the bedroom. This particular morning I was already running late, I was just getting ready to run out the door for the latest bus I could get to still be at work on time, however that was when things also went to s**t. Literally.


I could see it all happen in my mind seconds before it even occurred, but there was nothing I could do.


My weirdo of a cat decided it was time to rocket from room to room in an almost kitty d**g fueled rage (as he usually does...) he races into the master bedroom, stops in his tracks, stares at me and then does this ridiculous backflip and ran into the en suite and jumped straight onto the sink.
I see him getting ready to jump down onto the toilet seat to then jump onto the ground, but this is where my gut knew things were about to go very wrong.


My boyfriend was in the master bathroom at the time taking care of morning business, and as he often tells the story all he could hear was a very abrupt "no! Jeffery! Don't... *thump* oh god.. OH NO! OH F**K! NO! STOP!! OH GOD!!!!"


Rather than landing on the seat like he obviously intended, the clumsy f**k had slipped into the bowl that I unfortunately had not flushed (as I hadn't cleared his tray that day yet) and stupidly left open. As soon as he hit the water I knew I had to run in there to grab him because all I could see was him running around everywhere, tracking poop all over the carpet. Nope.. I was too late. He torpedoes out of the shitter does about 2 or 3 laps around the bedroom as I'm chasing him around screaming and cursing, runs out of the bedroom and then down the hallway where i finally caught the little bugger in the loungeroom.


Needless to say it was quite an awkward phone call to my boss having to explain why I had to stay home and steam clean the carpets and bath my cat...


We never left the lid open in there after that again.


**TL:DR** cat painted the carpet with his liquid s**t.

Image credits: getjoacookie

#25

Have diarrhea and scoot down the hall leaving a long skid mark. It was bad but I couldn't get mad at her.

Chew on a fiber optic cable. Thankfully it didn't break but the sheathing is a bit damaged. We were pretty pissed.

She is a cat btw.

Image credits: mercurysmile

#26

My new kitten peed in my grandma's knitting bag when I was little. You cannot imagine the fury. I was pretty sure she was going to make me return her.

Image credits: flosiraptor

#27

I guess not the worst thing she's done, but the most exasperating: my Labrador jumped into a canal, swam around for a while, then realised she couldn't get out again.

My mum tried to pull her out by grabbing her collar, but it broke, which commenced in mild panic. Luckily we managed to drag her out without having to jump in.

She also eats cat poo.

My Hamster once ate through a pair of brand new jeans that I'd left way too close to her cage. She must have reached through the bars to pull them through.

My horse is the worst. He's grey, but insists on rolling in the mud every day. He's stood on my foot. He's chucked me off five times in the past six months. Other than that, he's GREAT.

Image credits: Sabrielle24

#28

Found out she had been eating her own s**t one day while driving her to pick up the mail. I looked over at her and thought awwww shes so cute...then she puked her own s**t up all over my car. S**t puke everywhere.

#29

As a kid we had a Borzoi (Russian Wolfhound) named Boris. He would eat anything. He once chewed up our cordless phone and swallowed the battery from it, which began leaking acid in his stomach. I think my parents had to pay around $700 to have it removed. Another time he somehow broke into the pantry and ate an entire bag of prunes. Then the prunes did what prunes do, and he s**t all over the house.

#30

We have a super fluffy, super large Leonberger dog named Baloo, who is about 2 1/2. We live in a tiny town in the mountains where there is often wildlife present. He is so furry and soft that we just love to scratch and kiss his face. One time, we let him out to do his business and when he came back, I gave him face kisses and found out the hard way that he just rubbed his face in carnivorous animal s**t. Another time, I was giving him kisses and a bug jumped on me, then back onto his face where it burrowed deep in his fur. Apparently, he rubbed his face in deer s**t and got fleas, double whammy.

We also have a little Parrotlet that we love to death, even though he is a little bastard. One day, I got box wine drunk and passed out on the couch after cleaning the house. I left his cage open, as we usually did. When my SO got home from work that night, he woke me up, freaking out because Kit wasn't in his cage and we couldn't hear his chirpy self, or locate him. We searched all night, in our 2 bedroom apartment, and my SO even went through the couch thinking I may have accidently squished him or something. Our only conclusion, that our sweet, wouldn't hurt a soul, fluffy dog must have ate him. My SO went to work the next day completely heartbroken, and I tried to go back to sleep since I was exhausted from crying all night. As I was falling asleep, I could swear I heard him chirp a few times, so I ran into the living room, whistling like a crazy woman, and nothing. I decided my mind was playing tricks, cried some more, and tried to go back to sleep. This happened two more times. The third time, I really started hearing him go crazy. I ran back into the living room, certai this was no trick, and here he comes from underneath the couch. He must have crawled inside it and fell asleep because it was dark. Bonus b******e points, I called my SO's boss and asked that he tell him asap so he wouldnt be depressed all day, boss forgets until later in the afternoon until they finally ask him what's wrong.

TL;DR Dog likes to rub his fluffy face in poo before I give him kisses, resulting in fleas at one point. Lost bird, searched all night with broken hearts, ultimately blamed dog. Bird chirps up the next morning and comes out of the sofa.

#31

My cat didn't come back home after letting him out and had me looking on the streets until 4am, found him having a fight with a fox.

#32

I once pretended to die in front of my dog to see how he would react. The whole shebang, walking around the yard, clutched my chest, became a crumpled heap on the floor. He ran over (success!..?), sniffed my carcass, stepped on my boob (he's 30kg), and then ran a metre away and peed whilst staring at my dead body.

#33

Birds. They're like flying toddlers. In the past few years I've had:

Wicker lamps fall apart from being chewed,
multiple rescues from mugs or glasses,
poo on my TV,
pages torn from a book I was trying to read,
guests being 'scouted' and eventually dive-bombed,
unsuccessful attempts to perch on people's noses,
attempts to get food from people's mouths mid-chew,
pooing in guests' hair,
ripping the buttons off the TV remote,
sitting on my laptop/phone/tablet and attempting to pull it apart,
Splashing about in whatever liquid is available (think thrashing wings and imagine the mess),
Competitions to see if they can be louder than TV / Vacuum cleaner / sneezing.

You might think they are badly behaved, but I can assure you they know what they are doing and even watch for my reaction. If I'm not paying attention they shout at me until I do. They know not to sit on the TV but as soon as my back is turned they are there. I get up to move them and they fly off 'laughing'. The rest of the time, little cuddly angels.



I love them though.

#34

My cat was an evil hunter. When my brother got a pet mouse we were aware that we always have to keep the door to the room it was kept shot, otherwise the mouse would end very fast as a cat snack.
My cat, the evil genius she was, figured pretty fast out that we were keeping her away from some delicious meal and while we were very careful keeping the door shut she figured out how to enter the room ninja style. Since the ‘mouse room’ was under the roof with a skylight she basically left the house over the skylight of the living room and entered over the skylight of the ‘mouse room’ on the other side of the house. My brother had this mouse for whole 3 days. RIP Jerry. Before and after this day- cat was never seen on the roof.

#35

I had two cats that didn't get along (i didn't introduce them properly). One day, they decided to fight behind the sofa that was against the wall. Otter(one of my cat) being scared shitless, literally sprayed diarrhea all over the wall and the sofa. To make it worse she was squirming to get out backwards, covering herself with her own feces and decided to run all over the house. I almost cried cleaning that mess up.

#36

My rude-and-stubborn-a*s beagle hates my mom. To be fair, she doesn't like him much either. One day, after he was scolded by her (probably because he went through the trash again) he creeped upstairs (he never goes to the second floor), jumped on her bed and pooped on HER side of the bed.

He has done this more than once.

#37

This was when I was about 12. I'd say around 7 years ago. My mom just bought her dream dog this adorable little s**t head Yorkie, who was 2 lbs at the time, named monster. My mom was out of the house shopping leaving me in charge if the dog. Somehow he managed to climb on top of our kitchen counter, take a look of hatred into my very soul and then took this leap of faith onto our hardwood floors. He hit hard, yelped and then seized up for about 20 mins while I was on the phone with my mom balling my f*****g eyes out because I just witnessed a puppy s*icide attempt.

He's still alive and he's 4 lb fur ball of a*****e.

Image credits: Lots_of_Pots

#38

My rabbit ate the spine of my first edition Harry Potter and the philosophers stone.

#39

We made the mistake of taking our normally very calm Labrador through the automatic car wash. The kind where you put your car in neutral and roll along the tracks. We didn't think anything of it. Doorbells, fireworks, lightning, other dogs; our dog doesn't react to anything. That day we learned that car washes makes her flip her s**t. Once the brushes started hitting the car our dog started running laps inside the car s******g the whole way. It first started as solid turds but quickly devolved into the squirts. Worst 90 seconds ever. It took hours to clean up that crime scene. In hindsight I was an idiot for taking her through it... I wasn't even angry. I felt horrible for literally scaring the s**t out of my dog.

#40

We had a lab that ate about 4 pounds of fudge that my grandmother sent us for Christmas. He then spent the next 3 days with severe diarrhea and vomiting, most of which happened inside the house.

#41

Our overly hyper hell-dog Spitz named Warlock once ate $250 in 50 dollar bills that fell out of a friends pocket while he was crashing on our couch... We followed the dog around for a couple of days to get enough and large enough pieces for the bank to give us replacement bills, ended up getting $150 back (and the bank manager was NOT pleased with what he got in trade...)

Turns out you need like 51% of the bill and a majority of the serial numbers visible to get a damage replacement. Friend wanted the dog's hide... but didn't get it.

#42

My cat had really bad digestive problems for a while, and she was throwing up a lot. She also loved to sleep on TVs and cable boxes. She ruined thousands of dollars worth of electronics. Still love her though.

#43

My dog *always* rolls around in s**t! Always! And she does it after i give her a bath on purpose. She's a hunting dog so i know its instinctual to cover her sent, but it's still a pain in the a*s.

#44

I was peeing with the door open (dude) and my bunny came hopping in the room. I said hello and such. Bunny looked at my pee stream and before i knew it she jumped into the toilet bowl. Such horror as she was sitting in there chest deep in gross toilet pee water and getting splattered with fresh pee still as i didnt have enough time to stop the hose without hitting her stupid dumb face with my stupid dumb wiener pee.

Image credits: lowtuned

#45

My cat, Gomez, learnt how to hunt this summer, and hasn't stopped bringing in dead animals since. I've kept a count, we've just hit the half century.

#46

Every time I catch my labrador eating the cat's s**t, I die a little more on the inside.

#47

I have a pitbull, who me and wife are convinced hes autistic. Last night i was using a laser pointer, it was on the wall. He walked over to it sniffed it, looked some more, and then rammed his head into the wall.

Image credits: anon

#48

While camping my dog barfed into my open snoring mouth.

#49

I had two gerbils/desert rats when I was 12. One ate the other.