‘i’m Not The Type’: Man Reveals The One Major Way To Tell That Your Bumble Match Is Just Not Feeling It

Dating advice for men has become a booming industry online. Is this one major way to tell if your Bumble match is interested?

With countless dating coaches offering strategies on how to "get" women, social media has become a breeding ground for content that experts say often promotes manipulative or toxic behavior.

Since the dating advice industry is unregulated, many self-proclaimed experts have no formal training in psychology or relationship counseling—yet they sell courses and coaching sessions to often vulnerable clients. 

One of these self-styled coaches, TikTok user Chad Franklin (@defundsimping), who sells a course called "Defund Simping," recently sparked discussion online with a video that racked up over 77,700 views. 

His advice? Gauge a woman's interest by asking her to drive to your side of town—and if she refuses, “charge her to the game.”

Is this how to tell if your Bumble match isn't interested?

In the clip, Franklin shares an anecdote from a client who followed his advice and asked a woman out near his own location.

She responded, "That sounds like fun, but I'm not the type to drive to the guy. Thank you for the invite though."

According to Franklin, this response is a red flag. "Trust and believe this woman has driven to many men before," he claims. "She just doesn’t see you as that guy."

He advises his client to stop pursuing her altogether.

"Let me get this straight. So you're offering this girl drinks, you're gonna pay for it, but she says, 'Not only do I want you to pay for it, you also have to drive to my side of town as well and pay for it,'" Franklin claims.

He argues that a woman's willingness to travel for a date is a measure of her interest level.

"One way I see if a girl has, you know, higher interest in me is by asking her to come to my side of town. If she says yes, OK, she's on the right track. If she says no and says this, then I know, hey, I don’t want to invest in this girl because she’s the type of girl that’s making me jump through more hoops than I want to."

He acknowledges that driving to her location is an option but warns against it. 

"That’s you dating her on her terms. And the rest of the relationship will also be on her terms,” he concluded. “If you can’t put your foot down, you’ll always be dating on her terms."

Is 'testing' a potential partner a good idea?

Testing a potential or current partner to see if they’ll “prove” their commitment is a risky game—one that often backfires.

Psychotherapist Tina Gilbertson explains that this kind of behavior usually comes from insecurity, not logic. When someone sets up a test, they’re trying to feel more secure in their relationship. Unfortunately, the result is usually the opposite. It creates tension, leads to arguments, and can push a partner away rather than bring them closer.

Instead of playing mind games, Gilbertson suggests having an honest conversation about fears and needs. A strong relationship isn’t built on secret tests—it’s built on open communication and mutual understanding. 

If insecurity is driving the need for constant reassurance, consider working through the feelings with a partner (or even a therapist).

Commenters are split

In the comments, some users agreed with Frankling, while others thought the setup was unfair. 

“Yeah, if she like you she [is] doing anything to see you,” shared one user.

“How is driving to her or meeting in the middle on the first date jumping through hoops??” asked another. “LMAOOO that’s literally the BARE minimum.”

“Absolutely not,” offered a third. “The first date needs to be somewhere in the middle. Otherwise a girl might not feel safe being in an unfamiliar neighborhood (which you are familiar with).”

@defundsimping Charge her to the game #game #datingadvice ♬ original sound - Defundsimping

The Daily Dot has reached out to Franklin via TikTok and Instagram messages for comments. 

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The post ‘I’m not the type’: Man reveals the one major way to tell that your Bumble match is just not feeling it appeared first on The Daily Dot.