'the Golden Bachelorette' Joan Vassos Had A College Bar Meet-cute

— Disney/Brian Bowen Smith

In her 20s, Joan Vassos was a self-proclaimed “math girl” — a computer science major at the University of Maryland when the field was even more male-dominated than it is now. “I was in a good sorority, but only because they were on academic probation,” Vassos, now 61, tells Elite Daily. “They needed somebody with good grades, so they let me in.”

To be leading The Golden Bachelorette on ABC is something she couldn’t have imagined back when she was in stats class. “The fact that I’m out on this really public platform as an innately shy person is surprising,” says the school administrator from Rockland, Maryland. “Younger me would’ve been like, ‘There’s no way I’ll do any of that stuff. Not happening.’ But here I am.”

Since taking a “huge leap of faith” to go on Gerry Turner’s inaugural Golden Bachelor season (which she ultimately self-eliminated from to be with family), Vassos feels like she’s gained the confidence to command a room — a room of 24 men she’s dating, in this case. Ahead of her season premiere on Sept. 18, Vassos tells Elite Daily about her meet-cute with her first husband, John, whom she was married to for 32 years, and what she wishes she’d known about dating in college.

ED: You met your husband, John, the summer before your junior year of college at a bar. Can you tell me what you were like at that time?

JV: I was kind of a nerd. I majored in computer science, and I was a math girl. My late husband was really cool — everybody loved him. He was gregarious; he could walk into any room and be friends with everybody there. Maybe it was an opposites attract thing. I needed somebody to pull me out from the back of the room, so he was perfect for me.

ED: What was that first meeting like?

JV: I was out with my friend at a beach bar, and he was there with a bunch of guys. I vividly remember him walking over to us. I was hoping he’d come talk to me, not my friend, and he did. I can’t remember exactly what he said, but I was drawn to him immediately.

Being vulnerable is scary at any age.

ED: What’s the biggest piece of dating advice you’d give someone in their 20s?

JV: You spend many years falling for the good-looking “bad boy” type. Certainly do those things and get it out of your system, but eventually, start looking for the person you want to build a life with. Don’t waste those years in your 20s.

ED: I imagine that dating feels a lot different at 61 than it did when you were in college. But is there anything about it that’s the same?

JV: Being vulnerable is scary at any age. Nobody’s going to fall in love with you if you don’t reveal things about yourself — maybe things that aren’t your greatest qualities. Honestly, it may even be more scary at this age because you don’t want to look foolish or undignified.

Being vulnerable and open is a little bit harder now, but it’s still the same process of getting to know each other as when you’re dating in your 20s. The stories are a little different, but the feeling is the same.

This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.