How To Have Dating Success As A Shorter Guy

Despite the emergence of the term “short king” in the pop-culture lexicon, height stigma can be a real challenge while dating. According to research published in the Journal of Family Issues, 55 percent of women said they would only date guys taller than them. It’s a known fact that some women filter matches by height on dating apps, requiring a minimum height of six feet for men. As a result, men are more likely to misrepresent their height on their dating profile. If you’re on the shorter side, all of this can be disheartening. It’s easy to feel insecure about your height when you’re bombarded with the message that women prefer tall guys, especially when that message is stated explicitly on someone’s bio or on social media. That said, there are plenty of great people out there who won’t care about your height. But if you keep making it a thing, it will affect your confidence and energy, which can have far greater of an impact on your dating prospects than meeting a superficial height requirement. RELATED: How to Have Dating Success No Matter What You Look Like Here are a few dating tips to embrace to truly feel like a short king regardless of problematic societal norms. 1. Cultivate Confidence Through Authenticity “I can’t pretend that height isn’t important, but it’s just one piece of the puzzle of what women seek in a partner,” says April Davis, president at LUMA Matchmaking. Most women, she notes, “are far more attracted to confidence, charisma, and humor than someone who checks arbitrary boxes like height.” RELATED: Myths About Women & What They Want “Confidence is magnetic. It’s not about pretending to be something you’re not but about owning who you are, adds Derek Lee, co-founder of Boo, a platform dedicated to fostering meaningful relationships based on personality compatibility. Both experts agree: Instead of fixating on your height, focus on what you can actually control and the unique qualities you bring to the table. There’s nothing more attractive than authenticity. Davis recommends planning dates that allow your personality and skills to take center stage. If you’re a history buff, take your date out for trivia night. If you’re an amazing cook, attend a cooking class together or cook your date a scrumptious meal as a second or third date idea. “Playing to your strengths will help you build connections and shift the focus away from any insecurities,” she says. 2. Shift Your Perspective on Height ‘Requirements’ It can be upsetting to know that some dating app users disqualify matches under six feet. But shifting your perspective on these minimum height requirements can be empowering. “When someone sets height requirements on dating apps, they're creating filters based on an imaginary ideal when they have not even matched with anyone yet, not rejecting you personally or making a judgement about you,” says psychotherapist and social psychology expert Sophia Spencer. Would you even want to date someone who reduces potential partners to a number? Perhaps they’re doing you a favor by filtering you out. RELATED: Why Women Have Higher Standards in Dating “If women are going to filter this way, allow that to be an opportunity for you not to connect with someone who does this,” adds Spencer. Let’s face it — we all have preferences when it comes to what we find attractive. But if someone dismisses you because of your height, it’s likely that they wouldn’t have been the right person for you. Also, as Spencer notes, while height may be seen as an advantage when it comes to dating, it’s no guarantee — there are plenty of single tall guys and short kings in happy relationships. RELATED: What Does It Mean to Have a 'Type' in a Dating Context? 3. Prioritize Real-Life Connections Even with these perspective shifts in mind, it’s true that for most people, online dating is all about swiping and quickly sizing up the profiles you see. As such, you may be frustrated or discouraged about the fact that you’re not getting matches or dates and suspecting it may have to do with your height. If you’re harboring those feelings, it may be useful to remember that studies have shown most guys receive few likes on dating apps, regardless of height. In any case, if the app experience has you down, whether you think it has to do with your listed height or not, it may be time to take a step back and prioritize real-life connections, from attending in-person events to going out with friends. RELATED: Ways to Meet Women Outside of Bars & Clubs “In real-life interactions, attraction is far more complex and nuanced,” according to Spencer. “You are infinitely more likely to meet genuine, thoughtful singles in person than you are with online dating,” adds Davis. 4. Put Together a Genuinely Great Dating Profile As for what you can do on dating apps, it’s no secret that great photos (as opposed to just a collection of selfies) can go a long way, but writing a great dating profile bio shouldn't be overlooked as a means to give yourself the best chances of meeting people you’ll genuinely click with. “Use prompts and bios to showcase depth: A well-written bio that communicates your sense of humor, passions, and emotional depth can shift perceptions,” Lee suggests. In fact, recent Boo data revealed that men with longer, more detailed bios got five as many likes from women as those with no bio at all. 5. Be Mindful of Your Self-Talk Finally, being mindful of your self-talk is crucial. If you keep telling yourself that you’re at a disadvantage because of your height or that you aren’t tall enough to be attractive, you are eroding your sense of self-worth one thought at a time. RELATED: How to Build Confidence When Dealing With Self-Image Issue Instead, practice self-talk that reinforces your worth, says Lee: “Remind yourself that compatibility runs much deeper than looks. Ultimately, a fulfilling connection begins with self-acceptance. When you stop seeing your height as a limitation, you’re more likely to attract someone who sees your worth clearly and values you for who you are.” You don’t need to appeal to everyone or try to convince people with height filters that they should give you a shot. You only need to be yourself, accept yourself and put yourself out there until you cross paths with someone who appreciates you as you are. 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