People Who Grew Up Fearing Strict Parents Usually Display These 8 Behaviors Later In Life (according To A Psychologist)

Growing up under strict, controlling parents can influence more than just childhood experiences.

It often shapes how we approach the world as adults, leaving us with lasting behaviors that stem from trying to meet high expectations and avoid punishment.

As we carry these habits into adulthood, things like perfectionism, difficulty expressing emotions, and struggles with boundaries may appear in our lives.

It’s important to understand how these habits come about and how they can be changed for better emotional health and personal growth.

Let’s take a closer look at 8 common traits found in people raised by strict parents and explore what can be done to shift them.

1) Perfectionism

Growing up in the shadow of strict parenting often instills a deep-seated need for perfection.

This is a common trait that children of such parents carry into adulthood.

You might find yourself striving for flawlessness in different aspects of your life, from work to personal relationships, to the point of obsession.

This could be because, as a child, you were constantly trying to meet high standards set by your parents, fearing the consequences of failure.

Perfectionism isn’t inherently bad.

But when it’s rooted in fear and anxiety, it can lead to undue stress and emotional turmoil.

You may find yourself avoiding tasks or opportunities due to the fear of not being perfect, which can limit your growth and happiness.

You see, spotting this pattern is the first step in understanding its origins and finding ways to manage it.

It’s okay not to be perfect all the time.

It’s more about doing your best and learning from experiences rather than achieving absolute perfection.

2) Difficulty in expressing emotions

Surprisingly, adults who were raised by strict parents often struggle to express their emotions effectively.

This might seem contradictory, considering the intense emotional environment they grew up in.

As children, their emotional responses might have been met with harsh criticism or dismissal, leading to a learned behavior of suppressing their feelings.

This often carries over into adulthood, making it challenging for them to openly express emotions or even understand what they’re feeling at times.

This can result in a host of issues, from strained relationships to internalized stress and anxiety.

It’s crucial to understand that emotions aren’t something to be feared or repressed.

They’re a natural part of the human experience and expressing them in a healthy way is key to maintaining emotional well-being.

3) Overly responsible

People who grew up with strict parents often develop a heightened sense of responsibility.

This stems from the constant pressure in childhood to meet high expectations and avoid any form of punishment or disapproval.

As adults, they may take on more responsibilities than necessary, even in situations where others are equally capable or even more suited for the task.

They might find it hard to delegate tasks or trust others to handle matters effectively.

Interestingly, research shows that children who are overly controlled or restricted often develop into overly responsible adults.

This is because they’ve been conditioned to believe that they must handle everything perfectly to avoid negative consequences.

However, it’s essential to learn that it’s okay to ask for help and share responsibilities.

It can not only reduce stress but also lead to better team dynamics and relationships.

4) Struggle with self-confidence

If you grew up fearing strict parents, it’s not uncommon to grapple with self-confidence issues as you navigate through life.

You may constantly second-guess your abilities or feel like you’re not good enough.

This often stems from the high standards and harsh criticism you faced as a child.

You might have internalized those criticisms, which can now manifest as self-doubt and insecurity.

But your worth is not defined by the unrealistic expectations of others.

It’s okay to make mistakes, and it’s okay to not know everything.

Each mistake is a learning opportunity, and each step you take, no matter how small, is a victory.

You are capable, you are valuable and it’s important to recognize your strengths and embrace them.

Building self-confidence takes time and patience, but with each passing day, you’re growing stronger and wiser.

5) Difficulty in forming close relationships

If you often find it hard to form close, intimate relationships, it could be a reflection of your upbringing.

Growing up with strict parents might have taught you to maintain an emotional distance to avoid potential conflict or disappointment.

Maybe as a child, you were hesitant to share your feelings or experiences at home for fear of judgment or punishment.

This could translate into your adult relationships, causing you to hold back, to keep your guard up.

Many of us face challenges in developing deep connections, and if you do too, you’re not alone.

Vulnerability is not a weakness.

In fact, opening up can pave the way for meaningful connections and mutual understanding.

It might take time and practice, but it’s never too late to learn and grow.

6) Procrastination

Growing up with strict parents, you might have felt an intense pressure to succeed.

This constant drive for perfection could lead to a fear of failure in your adult life, which often manifests as procrastination.

For instance, consider a situation where you were given a task at work.

You might find yourself delaying it because of the fear that it won’t meet the high standards you’ve set for yourself.

You keep putting it off, waiting for the ‘perfect’ time to start, which never seems to come.

Procrastination is a common struggle.

Taking the first step can be the hardest, but once you start, progress often follows.

7) Difficulty setting boundaries

If you’ve grown up always trying to please your strict parents, chances are, you may struggle with setting boundaries in your adult life.

You might find yourself saying ‘yes’ to things you’d rather not do, just to avoid conflict or disappointment.

This might feel like the right thing to do in the moment, but it can lead to resentment, stress, and burnout in the long run.

It’s crucial to understand that it’s okay to say ‘no’.

Your time, your energy, and your peace of mind are valuable.

Setting boundaries is not about being selfish.

It’s about respecting your own needs and well-being.

After all, you’re not responsible for other people’s reactions when you assert your boundaries.

8) The power to change is in your hands

Yes, growing up with strict parents might have shaped certain behaviors and responses in you.

But as an adult, you have the power to recognize these patterns and make conscious choices.

You’re not doomed to repeat the past.

You can learn new ways of communicating, of expressing emotion, of setting boundaries.

It might not be easy, and it might take time, but change is possible.

Therapists, counselors, and support groups can offer guidance and strategies to help you navigate your emotions.

Final thoughts

While growing up under strict parents can lead to certain habits that feel deeply ingrained, it’s crucial to understand that these traits don’t have to define us forever.

With awareness and a willingness to change, it’s possible to overcome the perfectionism, fear of failure, and self-doubt that may have been instilled over the years.

Personal growth and emotional freedom are within reach, and each small step can bring about a meaningful shift.

By letting go of the old patterns, it’s possible to create a life that’s driven by self-acceptance and a healthier relationship with ourselves and others.

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