Why I Feel Behind In Love

The song “Teenage Dream” by Katy Perry has been on repeat for me over the last couple of days. This past Valentine’s Day was my last one as a teenager, and I can’t help but reminisce about Perry’s lyrics. I remember singing the song at the top of my lungs when I was younger, dreaming about the day I’d finally experience love. Fifteen years later, I’m still in the same position.

I spent the entirety of high school waiting, as if one day I would wake up and the perfect partner would appear out of nowhere. Spoiler alert: that never happened. I’m sure all the romcoms I watched with my mom growing up severely warped my idea of romance, but I still kept my hopes up.

I watched with joy and maybe a touch of yearning as my friends entered into happy relationships, experiencing the highs of first love. I admit it was selfish, but I couldn’t help but wonder what was wrong with me. It was a thought that I never seemed to shake. Was there something fundamental about me that was unlovable?

Love and relationships are not akin to a marathon. There’s no reason I should feel like I have stopped to take a water break while everyone else has run ahead, leaving me in their wake. I had always imagined that my first time being in love would be as a teen, and I can’t help but be overwhelmed by disappointment when I realize that’s no longer a reality. It feels as though I’ve sprinted right past a huge milestone.

As a perennially single friend, I’ve received copious amounts of relationship advice. One piece I often receive is that love will find you when you least expect it. This adage, or its many variations, has always frustrated me. Every song, movie, book or other form of media I have ever consumed has conditioned me to expect love.

I mean, “Short n’ Sweet” by Sabrina Carpenter was one of the albums of the summer, and it seemed like every time I opened any social media platform, a different couple was lip-syncing the lyrics to her songs and looking hopelessly in love. I spent hours scrolling through them, not out of envy but rather out of a sense of loss for never having experienced a seemingly fundamental human experience such as love. 

I resent the idea that single people are considered bitter, especially on Valentine’s Day. I think we’re more hopeful.

While I admit that my desire for a relationship and love persists, my single status has greatly made me appreciate the people around me. I’m surrounded by care and kindness at all times, and I can quickly lose sight of that when I lament the lack of romance in my life.

I would never dare offer another person dating advice as someone who receives too much of it herself. However, I can’t help but remind anyone who shares my experiences to appreciate the love already in their lives.

It may sound cliché, but your friends and family’s support and love are just as valid and vital as the love you receive from a romantic partner. I have no advice to offer in the dating department, just a note that there are other slow runners out there. We’ll all reach the finish line eventually.

<p>The post Why I feel behind in love first appeared on Her Campus.</p>