You've Heard Of Green And Red Flags...but What's A Beige Flag?

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When it comes to dating, especially for the younger generation, there are some new phrases that can be pretty confusing. But talking about beige flags or green flags shouldn’t be too much cause for concern—in fact, it could be an encouraging sign that your teen is navigating their likes, dislikes, and boundaries in a romantic relationship.

In fact, these additions to the teen slang dictionary might help everyone better define and articulate what they like about their romantic interests. Here’s more info about what “red flags,” “green flags,” and “beige flags” mean, where they came from, and how young people are using these terms as they explore dating. 

What Is a Red Flag?

A “red flag” is the classic warning sign, alerting you to danger ahead. In relationships, this typically indicates a deal-breaker of some sort, though the usage of the phrase is split. While some people use red flags to discuss a romantic interest’s worrying or potentially dangerous behavior, others use it jokingly to express a preference or bias.

According to Dr. Tamara Soles, a child psychologist and parent coach in Montreal, Canada, romantic “red flags,” when the term is used seriously, can include signs that a relationship isn’t healthy or safe.

“They often show up as control, lack of respect, or emotional manipulation,” she says. “In adolescent and teen relationships, these flags might look like constant check-ins, jealousy over friendships, or disrespecting boundaries—anything that feels like it erodes one’s sense of self or safety.

What Is a Green Flag?

Just as green and red mean opposite things on a traffic light, a “green flag” is the polar opposite of a red one. Green flags indicate a partner’s good attributes, such as their kindness or thoughtfulness. While some people also use it jokingly to identify what they like about a person’s height or profession, for example, others use it as a teachable moment to model how people can and should act.

Social media is a popular place not only to discuss red flags and green flags, but to model them, too. On TikTok, a creator named @dustinpoynter regularly stitches other people’s videos with footage of him running in a field with giant red or green flags. The color depends on the behavior exhibited in the original video, and other users regularly tag Dustin in TikToks they see, asking him to weigh in.

What Is a Beige Flag? 

A “beige flag,” meanwhile, is typically neither good nor bad. In most cases, it just...is. 

When young people refer to “beige flags,” they’re typically discussing the neutral quirks that you learn about as you get to know someone better. If they say something that makes you double take before moving on—like they’ve never seen a Star Wars movie or they put hot sauce on ice cream—those habits might be a beige flag.

“In teen relationships, beige flags might include things like a strong interest in a specific hobby, a unique sense of humor, or even habits like always forgetting to message back,” explains Soles. “These harmless quirks offer teens a chance to explore and reflect on what they appreciate or prefer in a friend or partner.”

The Origin of Beige Flags

While “red flags” and “green flags” have been around for a while, and are also used in non-romantic settings, “beige flags” are a newer addition to the world of romance and dating. 

In May 2022, TikTok creator @itscaito posted a video breaking down what she views as “beige flags” on dating apps. She defined the term as “signs you’re probably very boring,” and included examples such as prompts that debate whether pineapple belongs on pizza or referencing mainstream sitcoms.

@itscaito

beige is the new red and in other news dating apps are a wasteland ???? #hinge #redflags #datingredflags #hingedating

♬ original sound - Caito

Just as the lifecycle for a trend on social media is reaching “blink and you’ll miss it” territory, the meaning of “beige flag” has also shifted. Increasingly, people make “beige flag” videos referring to their partner’s quirks—the things that make them entirely them.

Should Parents Be Worried If They Hear Their Teens Talking About Red Flags? 

As a parent, it’s important to create an open and safe space for your teen to talk about crushes and relationships. You can help them identify patterns, and take action if something is amiss. 

Some “red flags” might be a teachable moment. If your teen remarks that a person’s “red flag” is that their family doesn’t have much money, that’s a perfect opportunity to talk about biases and judgment. 

But other behaviors or traits could be unhealthy or unsafe, and might require you to take some action. If your teen’s partner demands they unfollow peers of a certain gender on their social media accounts, for example, that could be a sign of controlling behavior, and experts recommend that parents step in.

How Can You Help Your Teen Know the Difference Between Red, Green, and Beige Flags

If your teen is just beginning their dating journey, they might not know what colors the flags even are, so to speak. 

“Teen relationships are a training ground for understanding intimacy, respect, and personal values,” says Soles. “By learning to identify red, green, and even beige flags, teens develop the emotional awareness and skills needed for healthy adult relationships.”

To help your teen name flags and understand their feelings, Soles recommends fostering open communication, and working through feelings together.

“Instead of diving into problem-solving, try asking open-ended questions like, ‘How does that person make you feel?’ or ‘What do you like about them?’,” she says. “This keeps the conversation open and allows teens to learn relationship skills through self-reflection.”