[ca] Do I Need To Sacrifice Family Responsibilities To Have A Stable Career Develop?

I have read in articles that workers should try to get a promotion or move forward careerwise every 3-5 years. I am stuck in my current position because of being tied down by the home aide worker shortage so I am afraid of working more hours at the school district as a substitute special education assistant. I have already had my position for five years. I am also already a middle-aged woman who entered the workforce late due to battling a severe psychiatric disability that I did not get under control until years after college graduation in my mid-thirties. I am 42 years old, so I am afraid of increased discrimination in hiring for age.

My grandmother needs 24/7 care because of dementia, being a serious constant fall risk for injuring herself, and being unable to swallow or feed herself and is also uncooperative. My mother is dealing with caregiver burnout while only having a part time aide for assistance besides me. My mother inspected local nursing homes and said all of them are too understaffed and poorly regulated to avoid committing elder abuse. My grandmother is only in her mid 80s and has healthy vitals so she can need care for over 10 years from now.

My mother is also capable of committing emotional abuse from caregiver burnout and cannot be trusted to pay a more competitive wage to get more qualified caregivers to apply in one of the highest cost of living cities in this country. She insists that $25 hourly is competitive even if fast food jobs in California still have understaffing while paying $20 an hour because of how much workers are rejecting modest wage positions. I have read on Reddit that people are paying up to around $50 hourly for caregiving for more challenging cases like my grandma because of the home aide worker shortage and because so many home aides are committing elderly abuse. Every home aide we have had besides the current one has been caught committing elder abuse by being neglectful on camera.

I feel like it may be too self sacrificing to continue making myself available in case I am needed for home aide shifts because the combination of how I need money for my future and how I am at risk of failing to get promoted because of age discrimination and discrimination against my long term unemployment due to disability may make it necessary to abandon my family to build a career in my 40s instead of just holding a job. I also cannot afford to avoid mentioning my medical history to avoid discrimination if asked about gaps in employment because I need a decent excuse for long term unemployment in my past.

I have job security in my current position because it is a government job without benefits and a low wage that is also in a field with severe understaffing. I also have current job security because I clearly have high approval from at least most of the supervisors I have worked with. But I am concerned about seeming unreliable and unqualified when I get old for moving up careerwise because I have not worked full time hours yet and because of losing energy as I age and also not being in a position to serve the employer more by becoming more qualified from not being young enough in the future to accrue more experience.

In my situation, should I focus on staying in a line of work with severe understaffing so that I can increase my chances of promotion despite taking years and years of family leave after having my own medical leave for decades? Is that enough to be on a stable path where I get wage increases beating out inflation by becoming a teacher, getting a career change, or relying on how the government jobs prioritize workers with disabilities for state and federal positions? Or do I need to sacrifice my family responsibilities and ditch my mother and grandmother to have a stable life and better contribute to society by working full time and/or attending graduate school?