Things in life often change at a pace that is difficult for some people to catch up with; the things they used to enjoy back in the day no longer exist and what was customary became unacceptable all of a sudden. And while some things clearly changed for the better, others might leave some individuals perplexed, misunderstood, or even scolded.

Members of the ‘Ask Old People’ community on Reddit recently discussed instances of such change when one user asked them about things that were perfectly normal and acceptable when they were growing up, but would now be considered rude or boundary crossing. If you’re curious about the netizens’ observations, scroll down to find them on the list below and feel free to upvote those you can relate to or agree with the most.

#1

Kissing, hugging, or being forced to dance with a creepy relative.

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#2

I worked as a temp a lot during the 90s. There were many offices that specified that women were to wear dresses or skirts only; not pants. That would not fly nowadays.

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#3

Possibly stopping in at a friend’s house unannounced. That used to be fairly common when everyone didn’t have a phone in his or her pocket.

Image credits: Eff-Bee-Exx

#4

Pulling out a cigarette and lighting it without asking if it's okay.

Image credits: MindingMine

#5

We let dogs poop everywhere and never picked it up.

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#6

Scolding someone else's child. I remember getting corrected by strangers.

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#7

All my parents' friends used to give me a spanking for each year on my birthday. Does anyone else remember this? Birthday spankings? So weird.

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#8

Playing by myself in the woods at a pretty young age.

#9

Smoking indoors.

#10

The big paddle that one of the teachers would posses that would be used on your hind quarters at their whim. No parent permission needed.

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#11

Riding in the bed of a pickup truck, usually on the tire hub. My mom’s Eagle didn’t have seatbelts in the early 80s.

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#12

This may be hard to believe but when I started buying cigarettes in 1964 for 25 cents from a vending machine at the coin operated laundromat I often saw people, both men and women quietly sitting in their underwear reading magazines while their clothes were washing or drying. I do remember one guy in boxer shorts and shoes tap dancing. .

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#13

I was on a job interview in the 70s. The man said, 'Why should I hire you? I will train you. Then you will get married and have babies."

I was a college student looking before graduating.

Image credits: HighPriestess__55

#14

Asking people when they were going to get pregnant. Or why they didn’t have any kids yet.

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#15

When I was a executive assistant I was called "the girl" when my boss was referring me to clients. "I'll have the girl write up the papers. Also, i was 38 at the time.

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#16

Kids mixing alcoholic drinks for guests at home.

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#17

I’ve been told that women were expected to wear “foundation garments” at work, and if they didn’t, then they might get reprimanded. I’m talking about longline bras and girdles.

In the 80s, one of my friends got sent to the office for not wearing a bra to high school.

Image credits: smartbiphasic

#18

My childhood gp making consistent remarks to our mom about how my dad better get a stick to beat the boys back as my sister and I began to grow up.  


before anyone goes there, no he wasn't a closeted pedophile.  he had no personal lasciviousness to him at all.  that kind of objectification was simply considered a "normal" way to compliment girl children in the 70's.   


to be fair, I'm not sure it's over.  in the 90's I was going down the throats of people who tried to make similar kinds of remarks about my son within his hearing.  .

#19

Teachers laying their hands on kids. In first grade my teacher grabbed me by the ponytail and dragged me backwards across the room. In second grade after a couple tardys my teacher grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me.

#20

Inviting the neighborhood children into your home. (1960’s and 70’s) On Halloween some people would ask you to step in the house to show an elderly family member your costume. It was very awkward . We also had a very religious elderly woman across the street, ( empty nester married couple) she held a Bible school every Wednesday after school for neighborhood kids to attend. We would go into her downstairs family room and she would show a film strip, give a felt board presentation, sing some songs. Then we would make a craft project and have a snack. Each week we were given a Bible verse to memorize and if you could recite it, you got a small prize. We were there about an hour and a half. This woman really enjoyed doing this, the parents didn’t seem to mind either. Actually, it was the most religious exposure I had as a child. She was a very kind and sweet woman, and well liked in the neighborhood. This would NEVER happen today.

Image credits: Lainarlej

#21

Within extended families, asking another adult member when they were finding a marriage prospect, getting married, having children etc.

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#22

Telling other peoples kids off, I grew up in a village and everyone yelled at you if you were naughty. If I'd complained to my dad that Mrs next door had told me off he'd have said serves you right. That said Mrs next door wouldn't have told my dad on me.

#23

Cutting through our neighborhood backyards. We all did it. Until we got into Highschool and cars became the norm. You might get hurt today.

Image credits: dvoigt412

#24

Asking someone if they “went to church” upon meeting them. Had to explain to my grandma that doing so would lose me relatability/trust FAST among my age group because that question is no longer kind when asked.

#25

Bullying. Not only was it acceptable, but it was sometimes encouraged by teachers and parents because it would “toughen you up.” I was a victim of extreme bullying. It gave me CPTSD, actually. And I think it contributed to some of my health problems as an adult. Yet, when my mom tried to get help for me at school and from the bullies’ parents, they told her that kids will be kids and she had to stop trying to fight my battles for me. Now? I asked my young cousin if there were anti-bullying rules at her school (middle school) and she said yes, but they didn’t really need the rule because nobody really bullied anyone anyway. She literally thinks that kids naturally don’t bully other kids! Because the rule worked! It’s mind blowing to me. I wonder who I’d be if we’d had that rule.

#26

I feel like there is more boundary crossing today than previously. As a general rule I was taught to not ask or talk about medical issues or mental health issues or money or ask who one is voting for, how someone died, if they’re transgender (you just assumed based on clothing. If a male looking person was wearing a dress and makeup, we’d assume she wants to be known as a she and it’s impolite to ask). I was taught to never go to someone’s house without calling ahead.

I think there are more physical boundaries now though. Less hugs. Less putting arms around each other. Less unasked for massages. Less older women grabbing a 12 year old girls chest to see how big she’s gotten (I hated that).

#27

Touching strangers. So, for instance, if you were walking behind a woman and saw her tag out on her top, or her collar rucked up, you would just reach out and fix it.

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#28

Elderly men innocently chatting up random kids in the streets. My father used to do that, and was heartbroken when it became unacceptable behavior.

#29

I had this tall guy in my drama club who just came over to me (shortish girl) and picked me up and hugged me. It wasn’t considered rude at the time, but it pissed me off and I’m still mad he did it.

#30

TV Specials. Like The Wizard of Oz being broadcast once a year and made for TV movies and mini series that were outside of the normal schedule. Or when Schindler’s List was broadcast commercial free in the 90s.

Also, scheduling your free time around a show you wanted to watch.

#31

Talking to/playing with unrelated children you found in park or playground.

#32

Strangers coming up to New mothers and saying "What a cute baby! May I hold them?".

#33

Definitely thought of now in a bad light- catcalling women when they walk by.

#34

Black/brown face (actually never done by anyone I knew with the intent of belittling people), copying peoples’ accents, telling jokes based on nationalities.

Also, groups of kids sitting on some stranger’s curb or front lawn.

#35

If you're curious, go (re)watch Madmen. The casual sexism, smoking, smoking indoors, day drinking &c were on point.

#36

When I was a kid, if a neighborhood kid was playing outside at someones house and got dirty, they got put in the tub and scrubbed down by the matriarch of the house. Their clothes were also thrown in the washer and dryer. No one thought anything of this.

Also, the women in my neighborhood fed lunch to whatever kids their own was hanging with that day.

#37

Fighting.
Playground fights. Rival neighborhood kids fights. Bar fights. Parents fighting at little league. Thursday night scraps outside the bowling alley.

#38

Commenting on stranger’s bodies in a rude way to friends or family, or describing someone with words about their body. Like, see that fat bald guy over there? Or that little fat kid is so funny! Or, omg that boy has so many pimples it’s gross. This kind of thing was normal in the 80s and 90s. As a teenager, being fat was the worst thing you could do. It was awful.

#39

"Girlwatching".

Straight men used to just sit outside and stare at any young woman close enough to be visible, and they could spend hours doing nothing else. I have no idea if they thought the young women liked it, or just didn't care if the young women liked it.

#40

1. More blatant gender discrimination.

2. Commenting on people's bodies.

3. Forcing children to eat all the food on their plates.

#41

Well, there were a lot of words, which were not considered bad. Most of the people did not know, that they were offensive to others, they just grew up with it and had no alternative word in their vocabulary.

On the other side, you were a social outcast for some time, if a "s**t" left your mouth. Swearing was not OK.

#42

Definitely dropping by people's houses. My dad was a Boy Scout leader (my brother was a boy scout) and we had teenage boys dropping by to ogle my two oldest sisters all the time (under the guise of a family visit :-)).

The neighborhood was full of kids and we always stopped by rather than calling. You'd knock on the door and call out, "Can Gigglefester come out and play?".

#43

A lot of gen x and millennial people never heard about minstrel shows until like 2005 or so; the medium had been entirely memory holed by our grandparents, so we just thought that blackface was vaguely disrespectful without understanding that it was deliberately derogative and denigrating. There aren’t any pictures of me personally in blackface, but just because it was easier to dress up as Wayne’s Gretzky than as Michael Jordan.

#44

Call repeatedly until someone answered. No answering machines. Smoking in other's house. My parents didn't smoke but had ashtrays in almost every room. No one asked, they just lit up.

#45

Calling women dames, chicks, broads.

#46

Phoning someone without a heads-up text first. I text with my sons all day long. But if one of them calls me out of the blue, my anxiety goes sky-high. It has to be something awful.

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