Accepting the truth, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel, is the quickest way to grow. When you no longer cling to delusions and illusions, you can work through a lot of your problems incredibly quickly. Your reward? A life well-lived!
Inspired by u/Rare_Can_5418, the members of the world-famous r/AskReddit community opened up about the most difficult truths about life they know that make your life much better. Well, once you’ve accepted them, that is. Scroll down for a bitter but eye-opening dose of wisdom.
We wanted to learn more about facing uncomfortable truths, so we reached out to Jodi Wellman, MAPP, the founder of 'Four Thousand Mondays' and the author of the book 'You Only Die Once: How to Make It to the End with No Regrets.' Wellman shed some light on the so-called 'Big Five existential concerns' human beings have. Read on for the insights she shared with Bored Panda.

#1

There will always be someone better looking, better educated, younger, more experienced, more intelligent or wealthier than you. Do your best, live without regret, have empathy and kindness, give when you can, expecting nothing in return.Focus on your heart value more than what others have.

Image credits: Realistic_River_868

According to Wellman, it's natural to be uncomfortable about our temporariness. "Most healthy humans have a strong will to be alive and to stay alive. Knowing we won't be around forever is an admittedly dispiriting notion, even if we aren't consciously aware of this discomfort," she told Bored Panda in an email.

"Researchers have identified the 'Big Five existential concerns' we typically encounter: death, meaninglessness, isolation, freedom, and identity. Many anxieties stem from these hotspots, and being willing to face them—rather than avoid them—can help us live more fully."

#2

Once you're an adult, there really isn't anyone you can 100% depend on except yourself. 


There will still be people in your life to lean on, but everyone has their limits in how they can help you. .

Image credits: Ph33r-Enigma

#3

No one is coming to save you, so you have to do it all yourself.

Image credits: Realistic_Coconut201

Bored Panda asked Wellman what we can all do to be more open and accepting of the world as it actually is, rather than what we'd prefer it to be like. She explained to us that it's believed that in order for us to reach our full potential, we need to come to terms with those five inescapable parts of the human condition.

"Death awareness can create even deeper meaning and gratitude for the lives we’re fortunate to get to live... even if we'd really rather bury our heads in the sand and not talk about or think about our 'limited time only' situation," she said.

#4

Happiness and satisfaction are *completely internal*, and based on what you have chosen to measure them by. No one, and no thing can make you happy unless you have chosen to let it.

This why there are so many miserable rich people, and people who have great lives that still unhappily yearn for "more".

Image credits: sev45day

#5

Death comes for everyone, eventually; it's a sobering reminder to hold your loved ones tight. .

Image credits: plaid-sofa

#6

You can do your best with someone and still be the villain in their story.

Image credits: gathee

"Research shows we’re better equipped to handle anxiety and appreciate life by 'trying death on for size' in even these subtle ways; some call it 'practicing death.' How do we do this, this subtle act of dipping our toes into the idea of our mortality? This often looks like:

1. Interacting with people who are grieving;
2. Pulling over for a funeral procession and imagining our own;
3. Coming to terms with smaller losses in our lives—like lost jobs, friendships that fade, fizzled romances, great ideas that died on the vine at work, lost pets, even your basil plant that didn't make it through the season."

#7

1. Life is unfair. (Once you accept this, you will feel better.)

2. Good deeds usually go unrewarded. (If you are doing a good deed for a reward, you are doing it for the wrong reason.)

3. You will never be able to explain anything to someone who is unwilling or unable to listen. (If you try, you will, at minimum, be frustrated and waste your time.).

Image credits: HillbillyEEOLawyer

#8

You can't trust your employer. Ever.

Image credits: BudgetBotMakinTots

#9

Human Resources works for the company, not for you.

Wellman said that these are gentle ways to accept our mortality. These don't involve having to personalize the experience. "We might not 'warm up' to the idea of our finitude, but we can definitely take the chill off the unfortunate truth of it all."

Being aware of our mortality can help us appreciate life more and live courageously. You can use the calculator on the 'Four Thousand Mondays' website to see how many Mondays you probably have left to enjoy. (Trust us, it's a good jolt to get us doing what we've always wanted to do.) Meanwhile, be sure to also take a peek at Wellman's book, 'You Only Die Once: How to Make It to the End with No Regrets.'

#10

That some people won't like you. And sometimes for no reason.

Image credits: PurahsHero

#11

It is easy to believe that everything is hopeless and terrible, because that means you don’t have to do anything about it because, apparently, it wouldn’t do anything anyway. There’s no point.

There is comfort in hopelessness.

So you can sit there, do nothing, believe that the world is in the hands of some mysterious insidious cabal, and coast believing the results would be the same whether or not you did anything between nothing and everything.

It’s much harder to accept that you have power, because that might entail some responsibility. The truth is, over your life, the lives of the people around you, and to some extent the world, what you do actually matters. And given the way the effects of our choices ripple beyond our ability to see them, probably in much larger ways than we realize.

Image credits: Kremidas

#12

Before i graduated high school I thought, thank god, I finally won’t have to deal with annoying obnoxious kids and I’ll be treated like an adult, I come to find out 95% of adults are worse then the actual kids, nobody knows what they’re actually doing and life is actually a big joke.

Image credits: selftaughtboy

A definite bolt from the blue for some is the fact that exercise and nutritious dieting—while absolutely essential—are far from enough to live a long, happy, and healthy life. To put it bluntly, if you ignore your relationships and your social life is in tatters, your physical, mental, and emotional health is at risk.

Social fitness is just as (and arguably even more) important than physical fitness.

The CDC reports that a third of adults in the United States report feeling lonely. Meanwhile, a quarter of American adults report not having social and emotional support. There’s a social isolation and loneliness epidemic in the US, and it’s a problem that’s very worth solving.

#13

You can suddenly lose anything and anyone at any time...and maybe all at once or in quick succession without so much warning.

Image credits: No-Historian-2115

#14

Cheap, s****y shoes are doing you no favors.

#15

Your happiness might upset others.

The impact of social isolation and loneliness is massive. To be very blunt, it greatly reduces the quality of your life and increases the chance of an earlier death.

Socially isolated and lonely individuals have a greater chance of getting heart disease, stroke, type 2 diabetes, depression, anxiety, and dementia, among other illnesses and conditions.

#16

You die. I mean, you really die. Like you only get one go at this. What a precious thing we have. One time. That's it.

No second chances. No redos. Gone.
The world goes on. We stop being alive. We don't go anywhere. Nothing happens.
All done.

No more.

That day is coming soon.
Live your life to its fullest.
Love yourself.
Love your family.
Tolerate your neighbor.

Image credits: J-W-L

#17

Good people get tired of spreading kindness to ungrateful, angry people.

#18

If they wanted to, they would.

The people most at risk of social isolation and loneliness tend to have chronic diseases, psychiatric conditions, or long-term disabilities. Other at-risk groups include the marginalized and discriminated against, people who live in rural areas, those with limited transportation, and anyone who can’t speak the local language.

Other folks affected by social isolation include those who have lost a loved one, are unemployed, or are facing a divorce. Older adults, people living alone, and low-income individuals are also at risk.

#19

Things are just things. They don’t have feelings. They don’t care if you give them away or sell them or throw them out. If a thing is useful, keep it. If not, get rid of it.

Image credits: bowlbettertalk

#20

People who are good for you will make you feel happy, joyful, accepted, cared for and filled with fun times, despite of any differences.

People who are not good for you will make you feel anxious, sad, down, slighted, judged, and never check in on you if you're not okay, and won't even bother noticing when you're not okay. Genuine people will never let you suffer in silence or watch you suffer. Stay away from those who make you feel negative emotions and thoughts.

#21

Just because you're right, doesn't mean people will agree with you and might work against you either way.

My wife struggles with this. She has an idea that works and gets the company more money, but the owner and other workers are against it because they disagree with it. Even with the evidence that it works better for them financially.

All the data in the world won't change the mind of a person who won't listen.

Image credits: outerproduct

A decades-long study from Harvard found that our positive relationships make us more resilient. We recover from stress more easily, and we end up living longer, healthier, and happier lives.

So, with that in mind, it’s not just enough to get your 10,000 daily steps in or avoid processed food. You have to consistently put in focused effort to strengthen the connection between you and the people you care about the most. The difficult truth is that without a flourishing real-life social circle, your life won’t be as great, no matter how big your muscles, bank account, and follower count might be.

#22

You can only help people who actually want it. If they’re not ready to change or put in the effort, there’s not much you can do. Realizing this can save you a lot of frustration and help you focus on people who actually appreciate your help.

Image credits: GoldenGlimmer2

#23

“It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life.”

- Jean-Luc Picard.

Image credits: baccus83

#24

This is more of a saying, but I feel it helps shed light on a few things: "we judge ourselves by our intentions. We judge others by their actions."


IOW people are going to look at you for what you do and your intentions are mostly irrelevant.

Image credits: Knight_Owls

What are the hardest and most uncomfortable truths you’ve ever had to face? How has accepting them improved your lives, dear Pandas?

What advice would you give someone who’s feeling overwhelmed with everything at the moment?

We’d love to hear what you think, so if you have a spare minute, drop by the comments section to share your opinions.

#25

You have to go to the DMV. You just do.

Image credits: Own_Afternoon_6865

#26

There are many things that are out of your control.

Image credits: ChicodePolonia

#27

Don't get into arguments on the internet. No one will change their mind.

#28

Nobody cares.

This is the best and worst news of all time.

Nobody, outside a few close people, is thinking about you other than in passing. They’re all the main character in their movie. A few years after you die, the world will mostly forget you. This is bad news.

It’s also very freeing. Throw off your worry and your shame. Live life to the fullest! You’re free from the judgement of people who don’t have time to care. This is amazing news.

The sooner you accept it, the better your life will be.

#29

Don’t “just be yourself”. No one has ever succeeded without putting in a level of effort that makes them uncomfortable.

Image credits: UThMaxx42

#30

Karma isn't real. Bad people will succeed.

#31

You can’t change the past, but you can decide what to do next.

Image credits: SexyAngelbabe012

#32

You cannot love someone into loving you back.

#33

In general, people *in the real world* are oblivious to you. You're not even a blip in their radar. If you're insecure about something you wear or how you look, remember: nobody cares.

#34

That you have to put in hours and hours of work to get better at something, but it’s worth it. Life is long and it’s worth it to develop skills.

Image credits: PreparationMaster279

#35

Avoid seeking other people's approval... Be you.

#36

Neighbors and coworkers don’t need to know everything about you. They’re not your friends.

Some of your *friends* are not the friends you need.

No response is a response.

Things that you care about will die eventually.

People are going to do what they do. However you fall into that is open to interpretation.

Maintain your physical and mental health the best you can.

Edit:

You won’t always get to say goodbye.
Your last moment may not be when you think or what you hoped for.

Image credits: Sandblaster1988

#37

My troubles are of no concern to the outside world.

#38

Happiness isn’t a constant state, and that’s normal.

Image credits: LadyHotie122

#39

Even the best bands have critics, Even the worst bands have fans. Same applies to movies. Tv shows and video games.

Image credits: The-Batt

#40

You're probably not gonna amount to Jack Squat.

#41

You are your best advocate. Nobody will treat you better than yourself.

#42

You're a child, always was, always will be. You may get wiser, stronger, older, and smarter with age, but you're still a large child who is selfish, hungry, and desperate for attention and validation. You can either deny it and become depressed, embrace it and become entitled, or simply accept it as part of your life and realize you were born to be happy and work towards making your inner child happy as often and responsibly as you can.

Image credits: Katoshi_Black

#43

Time heals, but it doesn't erase.

#44

No celebrity or politician deserves your worship.

#45

Not everything you don't like is "trauma" or "toxic". Maybe sometimes you're actually the problem. Self-reflection is a lost art.

#46

When you **actually accept**, not just understand, that there is no such thing as "*fair*", your life and your thoughts will be so much calmer.

#47

Some people are just a******s. Has nothing to do with you. Let it go and let them be miserable.

#48

Learn to say, "I don't know." You'll learn a whole lot more.

#49

"Not everything is a lesson, sometimes you just fail" - Dwight Schrute. I think being able to accept failure and move on from it is quite important. You might try and fail despite doing everything right. But it's important to be able to try again.

Image credits: jimmycrank

#50

You need to provide the world with something for people to value you. There are so many people out there who think that they just deserve a girlfriend or a boyfriend, but if you're not giving anything if you don't offer anything, then you're not going to get the kind of person who offers you anything.

The same thing with friendships, friendships are about giving, it's not about what you want, it's about what you offer. And I'm not talking about financial stuff here, I'm talking about listening, being there when someone needs you, helping them.

When you hit your 20s, all you can think about is what the world can give to you, not about what you can offer. You need to offer something to be valuable to society.

Image credits: PostsNDPStuff

#51

If a romantic interest is not giving you the same attention/respect you give them, they don't really care about or want you, and you're in for a world of hurt if you keep telling yourself otherwise.

#52

Potato chips are completely unnecessary, and they'll keep shrinkflating so long as you keep paying the ever-increasing cost. You're allowing their unabashed greed.

#53

Life Isn’t Fair. It will happen to all of us at some point.

Image credits: littleangelmoon68

#54

Its okay to be gay.

#55

When you're young, it feels a small thing to turn you back on society, but as the years go on, it can be a lonely place out there.

#56

If people want to spend time with you, they WILL.

#57

You and you alone are your best ally and worst enemy all at the same time. Once you come terms with that, things will start to make some sense.

#58

The person you thought was the love of your life may not think of you as the love of their life.

And that's ok.

We all see the world differently. Your happiness doesn't come from someone else. It comes from within.

#59

Your lack of planning doesn't constitute an emergency for others. It sucks but seriously, always have a back up plan for everything and be as well organised as you can.

#60

You don't have to floss all of your teeth

Just the ones you want to keep.

#61

Life's not fair, people will let you down, and not everyone will like you, but that’s okay.

#62

Life can never be without difficulties.

#63

Not all relatives are good for my mental health even if related by blood.

#64

You will die just like everyone else.

#65

Not all friendships last.