4 Movies That Send The Wrong Message About Relationships

Even romantic skeptics love a good boy meets girl story. How can you not?

Rom coms are literally designed to give you a warm fuzzy feeling. But upon closer examination, some of the movies in the genre are extremely problematic because they send a poor message about relationships. While newer releases do their best to fix the troubling trend, films from the early 2000s lean heavily into “blaming the leading ladies for the relationship troubles” trope. 

Tangled relationships, grand gestures, and the comedic chaos of love in the not-so-modern age play out perfectly in the movies on this list. However, the underlying issue cannot be unseen once you notice it. The first is a mosaic of interconnected stories that tackle the mixed signals of dating culture. There’s also a seemingly silly tale about a bachelor haunted by former girlfriends, a woman whose boyfriend resents her commitment to her job, and a writer out to prove that women drive men away. 

He’s Just Not That Into You (2009)

He’s Just Not That Into You is based on the self-help book of the same name by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. Although the film chronicles the relationships of nine loosely interconnected people, the story primarily focuses on Gigi Phillips, who is so in love with the idea of being in love that she somehow manages to push men away with her enthusiasm. One day, she meets Alex, who offers to help her correctly interpret her dates. But things go awry when Gigi mistakes his kindness for romantic interest. 

While it might seem like a cute story meant to help women understand what men really want, it’s actually super sexist and mildly insulting. If this movie (and, by extension, the book) is to be believed, women are entirely clueless creatures who are so desperate for a man to love them that they will stoop to harassment and even stalking! Meanwhile, the men should be tip-toed around because heaven forbid some poor girl dare to ask if he really intends to call her. 

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (2009)

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past offers viewers a romantic twist on Charles Dickens’ 1843 novella A Christmas Carol. Like the title suggests, the story follows famous photographer and known womanizer Connor Mead, who is visited by three women from his past on the eve of his brother’s wedding. The ghostly encounter is prompted by an outburst at the rehearsal dinner in which Conner makes his disdain for marriage known to everyone. 

Although he wakes up on the morning of the wedding with a new outlook on love, the problem can be found in the flashbacks. Back in the day, Conner was in love with his childhood best friend Jenny. But when he didn’t ask her to the school dance, Jenny went with someone else, which hurt Conner’s feelings. As a result, he treated Jenny and every other woman he encountered after that like garbage. While he does see the error of his ways in the end, the movie basically blames Jenny for his behavior.

The Devil Wears Prada (2006)

Based on the novel by Lauren Weisberger, The Devil Wears Prada follows aspiring journalist Andrea Sachs, who gets an assistant job at a fashion magazine. Although Andy tries her best to fit in with her glamorous colleagues, being at the mercy of her demanding editor initially takes its toll. Over time, she starts to adjust to the requirements of the job and is inspired to put more effort into her appearance. But her newfound love for her work and odd hours slowly put a strain on her relationship with Nate. 

While this movie doesn’t really fit into the romance genre, it sends a poor message about romance. Nate constantly encourages Andy to quit her job and even finds fault with her makeover. He complains about her working late and makes a big fuss when she misses his birthday party because of a work emergency. At the end of the film, the vilified Andy even apologizes for not making him more of a priority. But if the roles were reversed, she would have been painted as a selfish, overly needy girlfriend. 

How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days (2003)

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days is loosely based on the book by Michele Alexander and Jeannie Long. The story follows a magazine writer named Andie Anderson, who is working on a story that focuses on all the things women do that cause men to break up with them. To prove that her counterparts are in the wrong, Andy decides to put her feature to the test by dating and driving away unsuspecting advertising executive Benjamin Barry in 10 days. 

It’s a quirky little love story that gets complicated when Andie finds out that Ben only agreed to go out with her because he took a bet of his own. However, the problem with the premise is that women are (once again) the butt of the joke for sabotaging relationships with their “annoying habits,” which include interrupting football games, crying, and bringing personal items to a guy’s house too soon. While there is some humor in the way it plays out, it really isn’t all that funny if you think about it.