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Carnival Cruise’s Brand Ambassador Shares New Year's Resolutions

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Carnival Cruise Line Brand Ambassador John Heald has a special sense of humor. 

Many of his more than 500,000 followers appreciate it, while a few like to complain every time he makes a joke.

In some cases, people simply don't get Heald's often dry British humor. For New Year's, however, Heald decided to let his guard down and share a full-on silly post.  

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"Yesterday, I spoke of how I can never keep New Year resolutions," he wrote. "I have thought and rethought these because I have actually been able to stop myself from appearing on the front cover of 'Men’s Health' magazine wearing only a pair of designer underpants with a root vegetable shoved down them. I would like to say it was hard, and it took a massive dollop of self-discipline, but I did it. 

"I’m sure, for anyone reading this and who did pose for 'Men’s Health' magazine or for the ladies reading this who gave in and posed for 'Vogue' magazine in a G String bikini holding a fluffy Shitzu puppy, well, sorry, but you gave in and I didn’t, so there."

That served as a prelude to Heald sharing a list of New Year's resolutions that he wishes all cruisers would adopt.

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Heald serves as a conduit to Carnival President Christine Duffy.

Image source: Carnival Corp.

Carnival's Heald shares New Year's resolutions

I also hope that this new year that many of you reading this will do the following for your New Year's resolution:

  • I will not try to get in an elevator until I have let everyone off first.
  • I will not let what another guest is wearing affect the enjoyment of my cruise experience and the fun I am having.
  • I will perhaps say please or thank you if asking for something.
  • I will, if I am not happy with something onboard, tell someone while I am on the ship so that the crew can do what they do best, and that is care and try to resolve the issue.
  • I will realize that John Heald’s humor is not for everyone. He may make some people laugh, and for others, he may be as funny as an overflowing toilet. But if I don’t like something he writes, I will not get offended and write to the Beards asking for him to be fired immediately and sent to Cleveland, Ohio, and The Yak and Sunset Treatment Clinic for knackered brand ambassadors.

The Beards is Heald's term for Carnival's leadership team and Cleveland is frequently cited in the brand ambassador's punch lines.

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Carnival passengers react to Heald's post

The reactions to Heald's post were widely positive.

"Good day, John Heald. I have seen guests that seem to have resolutions exactly the opposite," wrote Karyl Moore Loux. "It is sad that they don't have the fun that is right there for them when cruising. I suspect they don't enjoy life elsewhere either. I resolve to continue to enjoy life, especially when cruising on Carnival. Happy New Year."

Ellie Hook thanked Heald for all that he does: "Good morning (now afternoon to you). I love your sense of humor and am glad you are on Facebook to help so many people, and I agree with all your resolutions. I look forward to reading your posts every morning. I wish many blessings on you and your family for this New Year."

Many commenters supported the idea of the resolutions.

"Good morning John. Happy New Year," added Robert E. Tyer. "Your resolutions would avoid some stress that some cruisers go through. I cruise to be pampered. If compassion was inserted into everyone’s heart at boarding, everyone would have fun."

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And Nancy Busma Bodin also agreed with Heald.

"Good morning, John. Happy New Year. I was reading what you said, and I had to laugh because every one of them was a simple courtesy. Except for telling someone of a problem would mean they couldn’t demand something free. Keep your humor because I, for one, love it. Hugs and cheers," she wrote.

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