Most people would likely wish never to have to make a 911 call; in most cases, it doesn’t entail being in a favorable situation. However, there are individuals who use the emergency number rather lightheartedly, as if they were contacting a friend; though sometimes, the reasons for their calls are so absurd, most people wouldn’t even call a friend for that.

Members of the ‘Ask Reddit’ community discussed such foolish reasons, after one user addressed the dispatches in the group and asked them to share their stories. The latter ranged from people calling to ask about the weather, to someone informing the teams that they need help with handling hot food, or, on the contrary, letting them know that their food has gone cold; yes, I know, it sounds totally nuts, but scroll down to find more stories to see for yourself that some people simply don’t understand what the emergency number is for.

#1

I was doing IT work at a dispatch center when a 911 call came in from a woman who said that she came home and heard a burglar upstairs. This was in a small town that doesn't get much crime. The town sent 5 of their own cops plus they requested mutual aid from two neighboring towns.

A total of about 10 officers cordoned off the area and set up a perimeter. Cops went into the house looking for the burglar.

They found that the noise was caused by a ROOMBA that got trapped in a closet. The vacuum was banging against the walls and the closet door trying to escape.

No arrests were made that day. Fortunately, no one was injured, either.

Image credits: dartdoug

#2

Girlfriend is a dispatcher and she has a ton of dummies calling in. Her most wholesome call was a little boy called to ask if they had his uncles phone number because he had just gotten a turtle and really wanted to tell his uncle.

Image credits: Pazuzu_likes_pudding

#3

She got shampoo in her eye while showering. She rinsed it out, and her vision was unaffected, but it, like, *really* stung for a minute. She was 27 and could not be talked out of having paramedics dispatched. When the medics got there, they couldn't talk her out of going to the hospital.

She was fine, at least until she got word from her insurance company that they weren't going to pay for her "frivolous and unnecessary" ambulance ride.

Image credits: jemmo_

#4

I once called as a teenager because the power was out and I wanted to know if it would be on soon. In my defense I kept exotic reptiles that require very specific temperatures and it was winter. I was concerned for their health.

Image credits: Omega_art

#5

When they released our city’s stupidest 911 calls a few years ago, this was one:

There’s a deer in my yard. (A weekly occurrence here)

What is it doing?

*It’s looking at me.*.

Image credits: Not_A_Wendigo

#6

Little old lady would call every morning to ask what the weather was like outside. No matter how many times we told her to stop.

A grown man wanted to press charges against someone who flipped him off while driving.

Image credits: beautnight

#7

Not dispatch, but I used to field emergency court in the U.K. Emergency court is 24-hour walk-in, strictly for cases that can’t wait to be heard in regular court - deportation, life support, emergency custody. Serious stuff.

That did not dissuade some dude from turning up and demanding that we stop his neighbour’s cat from ‘trespassing’ on his land though. He ended up being fined later for repeatedly calling 999 over it.

Image credits: anon

#8

Medic here. I worked with a medic who moved to dispatch and he called 911 himself one evening while off duty because he was trapped in a room with a crazy cat outside the door. he couldn't leave the room or the car would attack him. he was crying and desperate when he called it in. for the next 4 years or so we would "meow" periodically on the radio when he was working.

Image credits: itsYourLifeCoach

#9

Not a 911 dispatcher, but similar.
I received a call from a man saying he needed police out to his house, but he wouldn’t tell me where he was. He said he needed to be restrained, but would not tell me a reason why other than he was a bad man. He kept telling me he needed wrist and leg restraints and a hood over his face. In my mind, I thought he was going to hurt someone or already had, so I stayed on the line to figure out what was going on with him. He then told me to tell him he was a bad man and deserved to be restrained. He would say “tell me I’m a bad man. Tell me I’m a terrible person, who needs to be punished.” Then...it hit me. I spent 30 minutes on the line with a dude trying to live out his BDSM fantasy. I couldn’t believe I didn’t see it sooner.

Image credits: chitty__BANG

#10

Some dude called us to make a “serious complaint” i asked him what was the problem and he said “They gave me like a medium size worth of fries and I asked for large” I was confused and I asked if this was a prank call. He said no. Dude was really pissed of that he didn’t get all his fries.

Image credits: limp-dicc05

#11

When I first started, one of the first calls I took was for a gentleman who stated "My butt sucked my vibrator all the way in, and I can't s**t, uh.... sorry, I mean I can't poop it out." He was right. Medics aren't going to try and fish it out, so off to the hospital he went.


As a newbie, I remember thinking that must be a one in a million call. 20+ years in, I've learned that it's not. In fact "things stuck in the butt" calls are fairly common.

Image credits: Nevadadrifter

#12

I had a woman call and tell me a UFO had landed in her driveway. I was a little taken aback so I asked her to describe it while I dispatched officers using her exact wording. Of course officers scoffed but still went en route. She said there was a silver metallic object that came out of the sky and landed in her drive. Officers arrived on scene and there was a silver metallic object in her driveway .. it was dark out at this time so they approached it and found it to be a weather balloon. So it could actually be classed as a UFO. It had instructions on how to return it so officers returned it a few days later.

Image credits: cycleindiana

#13

There are apparently multiple people each month who think they can call the emergency number asking for the police to give them a ride home because they got plastered at a bar and don't want to drink & drive.

Image credits: ConstableBlimeyChips

#14

"I need someone to help me take the lasagna out of the oven, I have no mitts".

Image credits: Janski_Banski

#15

A couple of nights ago I was sleeping and heard “911 what’s your emergency?” “Hello?” I lift my head to see what was happening. My cat was laying on my phone and somehow managed to dial 911. I explained my cat stepped on the phone and called them accidentally. She just laughed and said goodnight.

Image credits: lnvisibIeSouI

#16

A guy called because an injured bear was in his front yard for "a few hours". It was a giant landscaping boulder that had been there for years.

Image credits: oneofthesesigns

#17

Not a dispatcher, but someone as a 3yr old who called 911 that my dad went to work and that I miss my dad (I stuck to him like a magnet as a little kid). I'm assuming why I called 911 was probably because I only knew those 3 numbers on the phone and seeing that you can talk to people on it.

Thinking back, I feel soo bad for doing that. According to my mom, the cops did show up at our house just to check what was up.

Image credits: happyajammeraj

#18

There was a lion in the backyard but they didnt realize its a plush.

Image credits: SquirtleReddit

#19

"Can you guys move the deer crossing signs? I've hit four deer now and it's just really dangerous for them to be crossing over such a busy highway".

#20

In the UK a woman in her 60s called the police because she was watching a live WWE show where two wrestlers (HHH and Stone Cold Steve Austin) were beating up The Rock.

She later said she knows it's all just a show but thought those two pesky bad guys had genuinely decided to attack The Rock.

It's still real to her, dammit.

Image credits: kitjen

#21

Not a dispatch but One time my parents were out on a date and I called the police because my brothers were pulling my hair. I guess on the phone I sounded like I was screaming so the police showed up at my house just as my parents got home. I got in trouble.

Image credits: kamobad

#22

Older brother’s friend is/was (can’t remember) a 911 dispatcher. One call was from a very angry (presumably) white, conservative mom who caught her son engaging in homosexual activities with his friend. She said she needed the police to “beat some sense into him.” The dispatcher did send the police, but to have a talk with the mom.

#23

I had a guy call 911 and wanted to report that a woman had stolen his money. We were swamped that night so I kept him on the line trying to get further information. Upon asking a few more questions about the woman and her description it was obvious he was describing a prostitute. He then began to cry and begged me to not judge him for hiring a prostitute. I promised him I wouldn’t judge him and I would send him an officer as soon as we had one available. He hung up and I pended the call as the woman was no longer on scene. He called back on 911 less than a minute later and proceeded to want to talk about his hiring a prostitute until officers arrived. My partner and I continued to pick up his call after we had to place him on hold several times to take other 911 calls during the 15 minute period it took for officers to get to him. He ended up getting arrested for disorderly conduct that night as he was extremely intoxicated and decided he wanted to have a go at the officers when they arrived.

Image credits: cycleindiana

#24

My aunt worked on these in the 80s. She said a woman once called saying her gravy had gone cold.

Image credits: MilkyLikeCereal

#25

Not a dispather, but firefighter. We were called out to a residence one very frosty morning mid winter during a very long cold snap...because the homeowner couldn't open his front door and was unable to get out to get to work. We drove up, I got out, ready to force the door open, but tried it first. It opened with minimal effort (frozen a bit). I opened the door and called out "Fire department. Did you still need us?" He was so embarassed and it was hilarious.

Image credits: gorammitMal

#26

My paramedic friend was called out to someone with a hangover.

Image credits: anon

#27

Some guy cut his foreskin during a wank. The whole office laughed their a*ses off.

#28

Not dispatch but a firefighter. Once called to effect entry in to a house for paramedics. The occupant - who a tippling way - had called them because... drum roll please... she couldn't close her curtains.

Image credits: TheNuttyProfessorMk7

#29

I don't know if this story counts but I know someone who had to be rushed to hospital because she accidentally swallowed her false teeth whilst eating fried chicken (and here's the doozy) DIDN'T NOTICE until she got another piece of chicken and tried to bite into it with her gums. And entire set of false teeth. She had to call an ambulance to take her to the hospital because when she called family members to ask them, they didn't believe her because it was so ridiculous.

Image credits: anon

#30

1- Mosquito bite on her leg has been itchy for over 4 hours. She was calling from Starbucks.

2- Her son got a bit of sunscreen in his mouth when she was a slathering his face.

3- Wedding ring won't come off their finger (we get one of these calls every few months)

I could go on and on.

Image credits: Yusses

#31

I know about a person who called because he needed help with his homework.

Image credits: jammmmiiee

#32

There are so so many in 9 years as a dispatcher. I once had an old guy call durring the last government shut down wanting to know if his cable was out because of the shutdown. Then there are the infinite number of Karen's calling in to report suspicious activity in their neighborhood, its always exactly the same, there's someone walking In their neighborhood that doesn't belong and they want them removed. When I press for more details they dance arround the answer. I always made sure to make them say on the recorded line it was because they were black. If you're gonna be a racist POS I'm gonna make you admit it out loud. Usually it winds up being their neighbor whose a heart surgeon or lawyer.

I've had people call because their neighbors blew leaves or grass clippings onto their lawn and want them arrested. I had another call because it was raining and their yard was flooding and they were pissed off. Ma'am we can't control the weather. The list goes on and on.

#33

Because her husband yelled at her. She didn’t throw away an empty bottle of shampoo. They were both inebriated and eventually, he got on the line too and started explaining that she’s messy. I dispatched an officer right away, because not on my watch Kidding. Kidding! But an officer did go out! Lol it was a small country town.

Image credits: EvergreenS420-2

#34

Because their electricity went out and they wanted the police to fix it. Then got upset when I told them they needed to call their power company.

I’ve also had someone call because their neighbors tree was dropping leaves into their yard and they wanted the neighbor to clean it up.

And one of the funniest/most ridiculous: because someone’s automatic sprinklers turned on while they were walking their dog and they got wet. Wanted to press assault charges.

People call for the most PETTY things ever. I would always have them call back on the non-emergency line as soon as they told me the ridiculousness. 911 is for emergencies only boys and girls!

Image credits: knewfonewhodis

#35

People call us ALL THE TIME because they are not from a rural area, and they think their 2-wheel drive vehicle can go over our mountain roads. They get stuck, and somehow think because they are on federal ground that we are obligated to help them. We are not.

Usually, these brainiacs who take their 1988 Accord over Forest highways also don't bring anything warm to wear or any extra food either. When they do remember to bring something, it is usually a child that won't do well in the cold overnight. And when they get stuck and learn that AAA does not go 50 miles off of the pavement to come save you, they really start to panic.

Either you have $3000 for a private tow to MAYBE come get you, a LONG, LONG hike out, or you are truly in danger and then maybe a search and rescue team will come out - at which point you may again receive a bill for their services.

People, just come a little bit prepared, please!

#36

“If I fake something the ambulance will take me to the ED and that’s closer to my house so I less spend on a cab”. (Because I spent too much money on drink).

#37

Not me, but my parents. They were 911 dispatchers for 16 years. They frequently got calls from people who said there was a black person near their house on the sidewalk. Their reason was “they look suspicious.”.

#38

My mother was an ambulance dispatcher, she said the dumbest call she got was someone asking for an ambulance because her nails broke.

#39

I don’t work dispatch but my little brother once called “the liece” when his chocolate fish was eaten by an unknown assailant.

#40

I work for an agency in a somewhat developed area but still has lots of woods between developed areas. Get a call for a fox running loose in a parking lot in a strip mall next to one of the aforementioned wooded areas. The caller saw a fox on the side of the parking lot chased it down and cornered it in the parking lot then used his jacket to trap it. We get there and he was like “I saw this fox and I caught it what should I do?” And we were like “ dude, let it go and stop bothering the wildlife” he reluctantly lets it go.

To this day I think that he was so proud of himself for catching that fox that he called the police department to brag about it since there was no one else that saw it.

#41

Every time there’s an amber alert in Ontario some jacka*s calls 911 to complain it woke them up.

#42

To come to their 3rd floor apartment and change the TV channel. Somewhat innocuous, especially considering that the subject calling was quadriplegic. But 30 days and 150 calls with the same request later, it got pretty old.


150 calls in a month is nowhere near the record though. That record is owned by a local gentleman who called 217 times in a 4 hour period rambling on about "nazi zombie violence mayhem wounds" and "zircon ray technology." His phone was not GPS enabled, so we were never able to track him down, but at least when the nazi zombie apocalypse comes, he will be proven right.

#43

Not a dispatcher, but a dumb caller (granted I was about 7 years old at this time though). A little background: my parents both worked and my mom worked early evening to about 11-12 at night and my dad got home about 6pm then. So there was about a 2-3 hour gap where it was just me and my much older siblings (8+ years) at home.

Well one of these days my brothers were in charge of getting dinner going because dad was going to be later than normal. Having 2 teenage boys in charge of dinner was my parents mistake. However, my brothers thinking I had no authority or power over them was another mistake. They refused to make any food (I was 7 and had no idea how to make anything other than a horrible mixture of uncooked pinto beans, flour, and chocolate syrup), and I was begging for them to cook. Still nada. In their defense, Super Mario Sunshine is a really good game and as an adult I can now understand the predicament they were in. Addictive stuff. Anywho, my ornery, impatient butt gets the bright idea of calling 911 for help. Great plan, right? They'll bring food for me and all will be good. Well, for some reason as soon as the dispatcher picks up, I freeze. The only thing they hear is a little girl shakingly say "sorry" right before hanging up. As their protocol demands, we had 3 police officers show up banging on our front and back door. My brothers ended up answering the door in only boxers and blankets wrapped around them. All was fine in the end and nobody got in trouble and I finally got my dinner.

It was a stupid reason to call, but resulted in a hilarious story.

#44

My ex boyfriend called an ambulance to take him to the hospital because he couldn't feel his right arm, it turns out he had just slept on that arm all night so he just needed to wait for the blood circulation to fix itself (he literally woke up and immediately called an ambulance, we live in a small town so it took 2 minutes and by the time he got the there the feeling started coming back but he ordered an mri on his family's comprehensive medical insurance just to confirm).

Also, this same ex boyfriend booked himself a dentist appointment for 'excruciating mouth pain' so bad he couldn't eat anything and it turns out he'd just bitten the inside of his cheek. The dentist laughed him out of his office.

#45

We have a local drunk who is paralyzed from the waist down and regularly calls to have a medic take him to the bathroom. He will call and say his blood sugar is low, and once the medics arrive tell them he just needs to go to the toilet. Always at four in the morning.

#46

Im not a dispatcher but I called when I was a kid because I was hungry, I’m sure I made that woman’s day.

#47

Stolen flip-flops which were left outside the front door.

#48

I could list off calls all day. Been a dispatcher for 4 years now and I honestly thought maybe 25% of calls would be something pressing when someone called 911. I was very wrong. Maybe 2% on a good day. On 5 different occasions I've had people want us to check the area around their house because "my dog is barking and he never barks". When asked if they saw or heard anything they say no. So we go and patrol the area 100% based on a dog hunch.

#49

I’ve mentioned before; I had someone that wanted a vehicle towed because the license plate was slanderous towards her dead mother and the vehicle had STDs (her claim). Got mad I wouldn’t send out a CSI team called me an idiot with more colorful language. Filed a complaint on me. Then filed a complaint on my supervisor.

A personal pet peeve of mine is when someone on Medicare doesn’t have to pay for an ambulance ride so they call 911 for doctors appointments. By policy, we have to send them. It never fails a cardiac arrest will come out and my closest medic is taking someone to a routine appointment.

However, COVID seemed to have brought the Karen’s out from all over. For the last 4 months it’s been call after call of kids playing within 6 feet of each other.

#50

I’d like to say first that people call me on their worse day of their life. I’ve had calls that ripped my soul from me. It has made me more compassionate and I love the service I was able to provide to my community. That being said.... 90 percent of the calls are not emergencies. There are a category of “dumb” reasons people call on a regular basis. Let me give you one of the obscure ones.

Guy calls in with a heavy Cantonese accent. Tells the operator “my wife no do a**l”. I guess in China the wife must oblige the husband.