Dad Driving Drunk With Kid
First time post, so please be gentle. My son (15) came to me about a month ago complaining of his dads odd behavior while driving him home from scouts. He said that his dad stopped the car to scream at him in the middle of the road about something trivial. He also told me that his dad admitted he met a friend for a beer while my son was at Scouts. This behavior from my ex towards my son was odd, new, and very scary for him. Now, I know from my own experience with him, This is how he behaves when he drinks. But that behavior does not come about until at least five drinks in. Since he was not pulled over, nor could we prove anything, I followed up the situation with an email to his father about his frightening behavior and how it has to stop. He denied everything. And said it was all bullshit. My kids have been complaining to me for months about his drinking. Especially with the long stretch of time they did at his house over the summer. They told me about waking up in the middle of the night to find him staring at a blank television screen, talking to himself and crying. So drunk, he did not even notice they were in the room. About him showing up in my son’s bedroom doorway to spout conspiracy theories at him for 20 minutes straight and then walk away. About my eight-year-old daughter, not being able to wake him up in the morning because he’s still passed out drunk. And how he told my at the time 14-year-old son all about how much of a whore I am, and that I have a list of 40 men’s names that I’ve slept with.
Cut to last week. My son arrived home from Scouts again terrified. Told me all about how dad was swerving all over the road, into oncoming traffic. Drove off the road twice. Almost hit a road sign. Went to get off on the wrong exit and then swerved back into traffic. Was repeatedly mumbling to himself what road he was on and where he was going. And smelled of alcohol. He is now terrified to get into a vehicle with his dad again. I called the sheriffs office. They told me there’s nothing they could do unless they caught him in the act. I called CPS. They said they would open a case, but it could be two weeks before they get to it. My ex driving my son to Scouts is part of our custody agreement. And on top of it, he was due to have the kids this weekend. And my son absolutely did not want to go anywhere with his father. We needed to act fast. So we filed a protective order. When we did this the judge said he sees a lot of these and he wanted to make sure this wasn’t me pushing him to do it. Which sounds to me like he thinks i have ulterior motives. Which i do not. I do not want to take custody away from my ex-husband. When he is not drinking, he is actually a very good father. Additionally, I enjoy my child free weekends I get to sleep in. But this was the only option I had to keep my kids safe immediately. My question is, I don’t know what’s going to happen when we have the court date for it. The judge granted it and set the court date for 10 days. I am hoping this gives CPS enough time to do their investigation. But I don’t even know if there’s anything they can do about it. There is no proof beyond what my son says. And of course, I know his father is going to deny everything. I cannot afford a lawyer. And I make just barely too much to qualify for legal aid. I’m really worried for my children’s safety. And i don’t know what to do. Are there further steps i could be taking to protect my kids? Ultimately i would like some sort of order that gives me full custody for like 3 months while he seeks treatment. And he can have supervised visitation during that time. But I don’t think I can get that from the protective order. And we don’t have any further evidence beyond what my son is saying. Is this something CPS can help with? Do I need to file for full custody? Or some sort of temporary custody order? Is that a thing? I’m at a loss as to what to do and Google has not been very helpful. I don’t want to take a wrong step and then it look like i am just out to get him, versus the actuality that I’m just trying to keep the kids safe. Because he will 100% claim that this is just me out to get him. How can i keep my kids safe?
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