Dad Is Dying In Hospice And Someone I Don’t Know Gets To Call The Shots.

So my dad has terminal cancer and all his organs have shut down at this point he has maybe weeks or less to live. His health started rapidly declining 4 months ago and he lives in NYC and I live in Florida and was having some health issues and admitted to the hospital so I was unable to help him during this time.

A coworker of his has been amazing with him, he calls her his angel she has been there when I couldn’t she lives nearby his home. My dad has changed, the coworker told me he said his kids abandoned him and he didn’t want anyone to come visit him, she refused to give me information on his health and she was named his healthcare proxy, he asked her as he had told me before as well that he wants to be cremated and have his ashes go in the Hudson River.

He is now super weak in hospice, I was able to fly and come stay on hospice with him, she has his phone, his wallet, he gave her his card pin to withdraw money for his cremation. I understand that my dad feeling very ill and not seeing me there felt the need to have someone take financial decisiones but as I got there this person does not want to let me take care of it because they say they are following my dads wishes.

I believe I should get his ashes and not a co worker who took care of him for a couple of months that I don’t know.

I feel like I should be the one with his stuff. I don’t know if she made a will and made him sign it I don’t know if she put herself in her retirement as a beneficiary I used to have access to his emails and bank account login info because he would need help sometimes and now I have no access

My dad is so grateful to them and is brainwashed to believe we didn’t care about him which isn’t true, information was withhold and the severity of his condition as well. Plus I was medically unable to come and take care of him

It’s a mess, any advice?

Any advice?