Grandparent Refusing Visitation

We live in Virginia in a small town. Basically my husband has two children with another women we will call T. T was struggling with drug addiction and the kids was taken and placed with grandmother who I will call M. T unalived herself. M is now refusing my husband to see his kids her reasoning is lack of involvement. He pays 600+ in child support, sends food, gifts, money regularly. And tries to visit as often as he can but he works 4am-7 pm 6 days a week. M is angry we refused to send her money on rent week and is refusing all contact with kids. Court states we need ssn for both kids which, M refuses to give, in order to file petition. Is this legal for her to do? My husband is considered noncustodial