How Do I Go About Getting A Divorce When My Husband Up And Left And No One Knows Where He Is And He Is Turning His Phone Off To Avoid Everyone

It’s honestly pretty simple but I’ll make a long story short. My husband was recently kicked out of the military for mental health reasons because he has a really bad ADHD and kept going AWOL on a whim. While he went back to his parents, I stayed on base and I’m currently living with a military friend’s family. He has a history of being abusive lying and manipulating his friends and family, and will then just cut them off when they start to catch on and show concern or frustration with his deceit. He’s very narcissistic and has sabotage many opportunities for me and others to keep control over the people in his life. When he moved back in with his parents, he claimed that he got a job and was going to another state for job training for six months. He took all the money we had and left our car that he was in possession in at an airport (so he says). As narcissistic people do he has labeled me as controlling and abusive and manipulative when I was trying to get him to communicate and understand how his actions lack impulse control and are harmful to me and his family because we’re all worried about him and don’t know where he is. We also can’t believe him when he says that he’s in a certain place because he has a long track record of lying. Well, I don’t currently have a job. I am applying to every job I can think of, even the undesirable ones because I’m tired of living this life. I don’t have a lot of job experience because I didn’t go to college and when I tried to sabotage that opportunity as well. But I’m not giving up and I’m still trying to find a job so that way I can have money to file for divorce and live my own life because dealing with a stress that he causes me as too much. The stress is starting to take effect on me physically. I’ve been cheated on, lied to abused and alienated from my friends and family while he continuously made promises to get better and to love me the way that I deserve to take care of me.

The question I’m asking is how do I go about filing for divorce if I can’t serve him papers because I don’t know where he is? What do I do? I don’t even know if I need to get a lawyer in the state that we got married in or the state that I currently reside in. For reference he was supposed to be in Georgia and I am in North Carolina. Again I don’t have any connection to my family except for my dad and he is not very willing to help besides giving me very outdated advice on what I should do in the military, even though my husband has already been kicked out out of the military. My mom isnt in the picture. My in-laws aren’t an option because my mother-in-law doesn’t like me for some reason and my father-in-law just goes along whatever she wants even if he doesn’t agree with it. I don’t have any friends outside of the family that I’m staying with and I don’t want to keep burdening them.

Any help or advice on how to proceed is welcome. I greatly appreciate it even just help getting a job.

Sorry for the length my head is just all over the place