Husband Moved Cross Country Away From Our Four Children And Me For His Business And Does Not Plan On Returning

Just as the title states, my husband moved across the country from California to Tennessee about 5 months ago because there was work for his business (trucking). He left me with the four children, the oldest being 5 years old and the youngest was 1 month old when he left. When he left, the idea was that it was temporary and he would do the work and return within a year. But now he says he is not coming back and we should sell our house and move there. His business debt and the mortgage is all in my name and he hasn’t made payments on the truck in over a year. Because of this and many other factors, I decided on a divorce but haven’t told him. But due to his tendencies, this would be most simple if we sold the house first, paid off some debts, and then I file for divorce. If not, he would prevent me from selling the house and ignore the debt in my name. My children and I have already moved out of the house and moved to a nearby town with family. I did this so I would be able to pay the nearly $5000/month childcare bill with or without him (I work full time). He thinks we are moving there with him after the house sells and that I will get the new mortgage.

My question: is it possible that he will get any custody if he stays where he is? These are 4 children under the age of 5 and he does not visit them. That seems so unfair to the children to send them on an airplane to stay with him when he can’t even realistically take care of them given his work. Or would it maybe be visitation where he can come visit them?

My other question: since he has not made payments on his truck for 10 months, it is currently being repossessed but they can’t find it. This debt is over $200k. Would it be better for me to tell the lender where the truck is so they take it or let my husband pay the missed payments and somehow transfer to his name?