Mother (41) Just Passed And Stepfather (67) Making It Difficult For Me (21) To See Brother (4) Ny

hi everyone

as the title says, my mother just unexpectedly passed away, and my step father is making this process very difficult.

they were not legally married so he gets to make no death decisions for her and common law marriage is not recognized in New York. I had stopped speaking to my mother 4 months ago and have never had a close relationship with my stepfather, which he is too delusional to admit that this is the reality.

He currently has an ACS case open for child neglect and the house being extremely uncleanly (imagine the Hoarders reality TV show with feces smeared on the walls and roaches everywhere). I was able to sit in on the initial ACS meeting and the case worker basically said the housing conditions and my brother’s hygiene were really only a concern because of how young he is, and with the office seeming to have taken many budget cuts, it seems like they are not interested in taking my brother out of my stepfather’s care.

I am still in college, but after I graduate I will be in a lucrative field and intend on filing for custody of my brother. My step father is very unhinged and I am confident I will be able to document abuse towards my brother.

In the meantime, he is making it very hard to see my brother. Even when my mother was alive, he was very controlling and did not allow my brother outside. He has mobility issues due to being in cancer remission and he will not allow me to take my brother outside, and he will not agree on coming outside with my brother. Controlling? Yes. A legal problem? I am unsure, which is why I am asking for advice.

I was abused in that house, and it is also where my mother died. It is traumatizing, and I, the social worker and everyone else with a brain acknowledges that it is important for me to have a one on one relationship with my brother in the midst of our mother passing.

Am I able to file for visitation rights here in NY considering my step dad’s stipulations? Or is it a loophole that he’s technically allowing me to see him, just in a very constrained way?

As a bigger question, what can I do to strengthen my eventual custody claim? My goal is to build my life up to be able to take care of my brother. My step father is elderly, has mobility issues, has never been the sole carer for a child and in my opinion, has faltering mental facilities which is truly just my speculation having known him and been “raised” by him.