My Brother Is Demanding Cash Before Agreeing To Sell Mother’s Former Home

My mother died in late 2023. My 2 siblings and I have equal ownership of my mother’s former home in North Carolina. Mom added the three of us to the deed so that we wouldn’t have to go through the probate process. Side note: She also made us POD beneficiaries of her money market.

My sister lives out west. She flew in, so both of us were with Mom at the end. Sister stayed for about 3 weeks and we started cleaning out the house.

My brother, had been estranged from my mom and had not spoken to her for years. He actually hasn’t been in the house in over 20 years and refused to visit mom. Mom, hurt by his abandonment, decided to leave him nothing since “he doesn’t want anything to do with me.” He also had been given our grandfather’s 40+ acre farm and a property near a beach, so Mom said that would be his inheritance. I don’t know if my brother found this out, but he did start calling her daily towards the end when Mom was in hospice. (His daughter lives locally and I suspect she told him.) Regardless, it was a great comfort to Mom and she decided to again split the house three ways. Neither I nor my sister have a problem with this at all. (As I told mom, “It is your money, you can do whatever you want with it – leave it to a cat sanctuary. It’s your decision.”)

After Mom’s death, my brother wanted us to quickly sell the house and instructed my sister and me to get a big dumpster and throw everything away. We replied that since there were things of value in the home, we thought it would be smart to go through the house and sell some of it. My mom’s house looked like a hoarder house, but she had some cool things. Since my sister had to return home, she suggested that she and my brother pay me to finish cleaning out the house. I agreed and told my siblings that I would keep track of the expenses so that we could split them amongst us. My brother replied that he wouldn’t pay me for the work and that I should pay for house expenses out of the proceeds. So that is what I have done.

At first, I went up to the house (4 hours away) for a week at a time. I would list some things online and have a sale on the weekend and return home. Finally, I realized that it would take years doing it that way. I moved up to the house in March. From March until September, I stayed at the house sorting, selling, donating, trashing and cleaning. I would return to home to see my family for a weekend about once a month.

I dispersed money from the sale proceeds to my siblings at 2 different times. I held on to the remaining money (about $5,000) to cover expenses until the house sold. We finally listed the house in September 2024. My brother insisted on listing the house at a price quite a bit higher than comps substantiated but we went along figuring we could always come down. After several months on the market with only a few buyers even looking at it, our agent suggested a price reduction. At this point my brother indignantly stated he would not agree to a price reduction until I paid him one third of the remaining money. I explained that I still had to pay for utilities and yard maintenance as well as real estate taxes and insurance, and that I was happy to split any remaining money once the house sells. I also explained that I expected the septic tank may need to be pumped and we may have to address issues that come up during an inspection once the house goes under contract. For these reasons I felt we should continue to hold onto the money to be used for any upcoming expenses. He stated that he doesn’t give me consent to use “his” money to pay for the ongoing home expenses .He maintains that the utilities are in my name so he doesn’t have to pay them and that we don’t need utilities for an empty house anyway.

He has threatened to sue me as well as file criminal charges against me. And now due to his irrational demands, my sister and I are unable to move forward. From what I understand, all parties are responsible for the expenses of the house and according to our realtor, we do need the utilities on for showings and inspections, (nevermind to keep the pipes from freezing).

I am not willing to give in to his bullying and pay for the house expenses on my own without reimbursement for his share. I spent 6 months working for him and my sister for free. Why should I now pay him for nothing. Ugh!!!!

What steps do I need to take, if any, to protect myself? Is there anything I can do legally to get him to agree to sell the house?