My (m22) Dad (m45) Is Cheating On My Mom And Using My Snn Number! (ohio)

I grew up in a family with my father, mother, and two siblings. My dad and I were never close; he was essentially an absent parent. I don’t have any real memories of bonding with him as a child. He was always distant and never seemed to care about getting to know me, despite being physically present.

On the other hand, my dad adored my older sister. She always got whatever she wanted for Christmas, while I was given gifts that were meant to be shared between the two of us. As a child, I noticed the favoritism, and my sister would take full advantage of it. She would lie to my dad about me and, no matter what, he believed her. I’d be punished for things I never did. I learned that my voice and opinions didn’t matter.

When my younger brother was born when I was 9, it felt like the same cycle started all over again. It was as if my dad cared more about my brother and sister than me. I wasn’t allowed to keep any of the gifts I got for Christmas or birthdays; they had to go to my brother. Despite speaking up multiple times, my dad would dismiss me and tell me I was imagining things. I was punished severely for minor mistakes, while my sister and brother faced little to no consequences for worse behavior.

My dad worked as a salesman and traveled a lot. When he was away, life at home was calmer, and I got along better with my mom and siblings. But things didn’t change with my dad. I developed a complex, always trying to please him and do whatever I could to make him happy—even though he never really showed any interest in me.

I went to the college my dad chose and pursued the degree he picked, even though he didn’t help me financially. He left me to figure out everything on my own: bills, cars, living out of state. When I graduated, I moved back home and got engaged to a girl I had been dating throughout college. But the issues with my dad only worsened, and my personal struggles intensified. The pressure I felt to meet my dad’s expectations led me to make some bad choices, including pushing my fiancée away. Eventually, I moved back to Ohio, where I found a job and started to regain control of my life. I now have a new car, a supportive girlfriend, and close friends and family who help me stay grounded.

A month ago, my mom called to update me on my dad. He had moved out of state for a new job in Kentucky, but by April, he had relocated to Indiana. He visited my mom and younger brother only three times in six months. Things took a turn when my mom found out that my dad had lost his high-paying job in October. He kept it a secret until November, during which time he drained their life savings, took out numerous loans, and maxed out credit cards, all while pretending everything was fine. By the time my mom discovered the financial mess, they were at risk of losing the house, her car was about to be repossessed, and she could barely afford necessities.

I visited home for Christmas and found out how bad things had become. My mom’s house was in foreclosure, her car was falling apart, and she was struggling to make ends meet. I ended up being the only one who could afford Christmas presents for my mom, brother, and sister.

In late January, my mom told me that my dad had asked for a legal separation, supposedly to save the house from foreclosure. After investigating, my mom learned that my dad had been cheating on her for months with multiple women in Indiana. This was devastating for her, but she doesn’t have the resources to divorce him, and I’m not in a financial position to help.

Now, my relationship with my dad is over. I want nothing to do with him anymore.

Here’s where things get even worse. Last October, when I pulled my credit report to start looking into buying a house, I noticed a suspicious credit card on my report. It was maxed out, and the account didn’t belong to me. After contacting the credit card company, I found out that the card was opened using my Social Security number. I called my dad about it, and he admitted that the card was his but claimed it was a mistake—he said someone set it up for him, and they accidentally used my number. I agreed to pay off the card to remove it from my report, thinking that would be the end of it.

But in January, when I checked my credit again, I found even more fraudulent accounts: a personal loan and another credit card that weren’t mine. Both accounts were linked to my dad’s information but used my Social Security number. I confronted him, and he denied everything. I’m now dealing with over $7,000 in debt that isn’t mine.

I’m furious. Not only has my dad destroyed our relationship, but now he’s also jeopardizing my financial future by using my identity to open credit accounts. I feel like I need to take action. I’m asking Reddit—how can I hold my dad accountable for committing identity theft using my Social Security number to get loans and credit cards?