My Situation

I’m recently separated (though haven’t been told as such) from my wife. We have been married for three years, but have been together for 15 years in total

Everything fell apart on the 15 of August when, following an argument, she walked out of our unit. Next thing, I’ve got Mum on the phone saying that my wife had filed a temp order and the police would be looking for. I drove to my Mum’s place with nothing but the clothes I was wearing and was immediately served the order by the police and was, from that point on, now allowed to return or contact her.

Two days later, I’m informed the temp order has been made an FVRO which would be in effect for two years making me homeless. Under the order I am unable to return and because I was stupid enough to trust her with the finances, am broke. I filed to contest the order and was scheduled for shuttle conference. Three weeks later, my wife calls me and says “don’t speak, just listen. I still love you with all my heart and don’t want to lose what we had…”. This fills me with hope of possibly returning home.

I get notice of the shuttle conference with the date set for the Nov 1^st. On the day, I encounter problems getting to the court and call to notify that I would be late. I’m then told the conference had been vacated and would be rescheduled. They would not tell me why. Later, I learn that my wife had emailed two days before the conference and said she would be unable to attend due to being in hospital as an inpatient, essentially guaranteeing I would not have been notified of the date change.

The conference is rescheduled for December 13^th. I arrive thinking I whatever I had to say might make a difference. It did not. Despite having no evidence or substation for her claims as well as an extremely long and complex history of mental health issues, my wife demands the order be kept in place and refuses to negotiate or engage in couples/marriage counselling. I left the court feeling gutted. She made me homeless, gave me hope which she then destroyed, refuses me an opportunity to collect my possessions or give closure on the relationship and our future.

What upsets me most is that she will likely file for divorce in 7 months time, after the separation has been longer than a year and in WA, things are not divided up 50/50 and each individual’s contribution is taken into account. How can the courts put a value on human life as it was said, but her family, friends – even her dad made a point of it in his speech at our wedding, that she would not be alive today were in not for me. I spent years getting her through her problems and what makes me want to vanish is that despite having been in relationships with full on abusive people, it was me she put that mantle on.

What can I do?

Left behind in the house I shared with my wife: all my clothes, important documents (passport, ID, academic transcripts, copies of unpublished creative works, all my writing, pet python, furniture, PS5, $5000 racing/street bike, 6.2k worth of hydroponics equipment and my collection of extremely rare plants I had collected and cultivated over the last 20 years. This collection is not only exceedingly valuable with a number of irreplaceable specimens but also my primary source of income which I generate via propagation, seed production, cuttings and offsets.